Monday, December 21, 2009

Early Morning Musing this time...

Yep, up early again. Sitting, watching the sun rise, listening to the birds quietly chatter (no raucous kookaburra chorus for now). I guess it would be apt if I were clutching a steamy cup of coffee but I rarely drink it, and, well I'm not into stretching poetic licence quite that far. I am pondering the words a friend wrote in her status on Facebook:

As xmas and new year approach I urge every one of you to resolve your differences,heal your wounds and have closure on all of your upsets lets enter 2010 fresh and ready to start a new again..........can't wait to wipe the slate clean,bring on 2010!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Merry xmas and happy 2010 xxxxx

If only it were so simple. How do you "wipe the slate clean" when they are the one with the issue? When there are obvious mental health complexities coming into play? Or when you have no idea what on earth prompted the total breakdown of a friendship? These are the situations I face. All I CAN do is walk away and let them carry on with their stupid, childish games. Funnily, it was one of the culprits who once said to me: "You cannot control the actions of others, you can only control your own." 

And I am. But it is not pleasant living in a small town knowing people are being malicious and lying about you. I just have to believe that my true friends know me well enough not to question my integrity. Sadly I once thought one of those involved was in this group. How wrong can you be?

But as Big Boy says: "Isn't it good not to have to deal with all the drama of these people?" So true.

Just, sometimes, when the sun is breaking up the night, my thoughts turn to the last six months or so and I just have to question: WHY?

Just what sort of people was I associating with?

I really do need to sleep later!


Alex said...

Oh I so get it! A friendship I have had since highschool seems to have bit itself in the ass for no apparent reason, the issue being hers not mine. Whatever.

Let 2010 bring new friendships and sane people into our lives! :)

Madmother said...

Hell, yeah! Though I must confess a little insanity can be fun, it is when it goes over the top it gets scary.

Cathy said...

A girl who was my best friend through most of primary and high school moved on to a different school for Yrs 11/12 and just cut me off dead. For one who didn't have lots of close friends, that really hurt and since then I've found it very hard to let people get close and have never really had a friend I felt comfortable confiding in. But thanks to Madmother and another I am slowly learning to trust again. Thankyou.

Madmother said...

Anyone is truly blessed to have you in there life Cathy. As for that high school friend, well... sucks to be her! Sorry, reverting to bitchy high school ways for a moment there...