Saturday, March 12, 2011

It is Saturday.

"The mean reds are horrible. Suddenly you're afraid and you don't know what you're afraid of. Do you ever get that feeling?"
~Holly Golightly~ Breakfast at Tiffany's (1961)

Today I am suffering from the mean reds. I do not want to be suffering from the mean reds for today is a special day, it is the Nuffnang Queensland Bloggers Meet. It is a joyous day, or supposed to be.



But today I am suffering the emotional hangover from yesterday's events. And probably having a few withdrawal symptoms kicking in as well. When you leave a site that has played a very strong role in your life, I guess it is to be expected and I must allow time to get rid of this feeling of failure. And loss. And disappointment. Bit like the breakup of a romance that wasn't really working anymore. You remember when times were good, in fact you tend to forget the bad and only mourn the good. It will be a while till I find my new normal I think.

I will get past this feeling of melancholy, I certainly intend to try and shed this cloud before I pick up the new friend on the way. I will laugh and chat, nod and listen. Just deep down will be a little niggle, a thought, a doubt... "What if I am not being clear, am I offending anyone, are my words being taken the wrong way?" But you won't see it because it will be hidden deep below the surface, covered by my smile.

Damn these mean reds...


6 comments:

cjtato said...

I have to say as our Grads group started to fizzle, I was quite glad to be released from that forum. It is just a very dramatic place to reside most days. Clicky and a bit too cool for school sometimes.

I remember trying to belong to other groups and just getting nothing in return so I gave up.

Still glad it was around when I needed it most though. It has a purpose. I'm just not sure it's a long standing one!

Kakka said...

I so wish that I had known about the Qld blogger meet earlier, then I would have come to Qld before Sydney. So many of my fav bloggers reside in Qld and are not coming to Sydney (you included MM).

Hope you have a blast. xxx

Anonymous said...

Hi MM, another who 'hooked' up with your blog via EB. Your poem on being obsessed with the PC upon diagnosis was so powerful. I do understand you needing to leave the forum, particularly if it is affecting you emotionally. I have pulled back from it finding that when I was upset my DH would ask if I had been on the forum reading! Quite powerful observation. Don't underestimate your ability to educate and provide insight outside of the forum in other avenues. Best wishes, Progeny

Anonymous said...

Hi. Another EB stalker here! Very sad to see you and your wisdom and perspective go but if this is coming from the thread I think it is, I'm not surprised. The crap about kids with SN needing to be integrated into "society" and being somehow less worthy is revolting. I'm sorry the stupid has made you leave and I hope some time away is refreshing.

Enjoy the blog meet!

Naomi said...

great to meet you today and hope that you had fun. It was great to see you smile and I don't think you offended anyone at all! Naomi x

Melissa *Suger Coat It* said...

I wish I had read this before. You my dear were a star. I adore you. more now than ever. And the great part is, you never have to watch what you say around me. I'm pretty tough to offend.

Thanks for coming!!