Friday, March 11, 2011

Tonight I am Sad.

And I shouldn't be. I have just returned home from a wonderful dinner out with the girls. Am off to the Qld bloggers meet tomorrow. And we are all on the mend.

But sad I am. Why? Because I have had enough. I try and advocate or advise others on this SN journey where I can help. Most days I will go onto boards and into threads to attempt to inform and educate. In real life I talk to lots of people about our ASD rollercoaster, and have attempted to help others just starting out.

I know the written word can be misconstrued and misunderstood. I know tone and intent can be missed. But I am tired and sick of the attitude of "Us" versus "Them". Of the special needs world being second rate or not even considered human. Of anger and bitterness, theirs and mine.

So enough. At this point I think I am done talking/writing/advocating/advising. I have tried and failed, no matter what I say someone will take my words and twist them into their world. Or it may be that I am so cocooned in this world that things I think are clear are blurred and vague.

And so it is with sadness that I walk away. To help is my nature but when my intent is slammed back tortured beyond recognition... Done, no more.


Bri said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

Are you crazy? I have been reading your blog for awhile now, kind of new to the blogging world, never leaving comments not sure how it all works. I am a teacher and last year when I started reading your blog I had a student with ASD, your information made a huge difference to me and my teaching and more importantly to my student. I imagine you have no idea of how far your powerful voice reaches. Thank you, I understand (well imagine I do) the need for a break & hope that you go on. Your voice is being heard.

Anonymous said...

its me again, teacher, country nsw, just looked at your profile, knew I liked you fellow psycho scorpio, gosh second comment in two minutes, see what you've started

cjtato said...

Sometimes people starting out on a journey don't want to know, IYKWIM?

And some people will be able to accept far more easily than others. It's tough having loads of knowledge and feeling like nobody wants to hear it or they're taking it the wrong way.

Might be good to have a step back and just let people run their own race anyway. Forums and the likes are terrible places for the best of intentions to go off the rails. Happens so often especially when the topics are sensitive.

It's kind of like you just happened to look at them the wrong way while you said it, ya know?

See you soon ...

Madmother said...

Thank you. I know I am being a pussy sitting in the corner licking my wounds. I will probably come back to advocating and educating when I stop being such a delicate little petal, but it really helps to hear someone has listened and not been offended by my words.
@Bri - at this point I cannot see myself returning to EB, but never say never.
@teacher - to have made a difference to one person, and then to a child's school experience is what it is about. Thank you for your words, they just may be what helps me to move forward on this journey.

@cjtato - Wise words my friend. I won't be on there for quite a while if ever. And it isn't so much those beginning the journey, it is the nastiness and attacks and broad generalisations on subjects they do not know about and do not wish to learn that really got my goat. See you very soon!

Kakka said...

Hey MM, maybe you just need some down time, time to rebuild, revitalise - you have been unwell, there have been other major things in your life. Walk away, but don't turn your back totally, just see it as a detour for a while, a trip down a lovely country road, before you come back onto the freeway.

I think the world would be worse place if you totally stopped being involved. xxx