Monday, May 16, 2011

Mean Girl Monday

"Why would she do this to me?" asked in bewilderment by a lovely lady through her tears. Betrayal, the hardest of all pills to swallow, the actions of a so-called friend throwing trust into disarray. Making you question your judgement of others.

I had no answer. I do not know why this person hurts with intent, I do not know if it is her insecurity or a purile power play. I do know she is not someone anyone needs in their lives. She is toxic. A mean girl. The mean girl who turned on me almost two years ago, the toxic former friend who made my life hell, and still tries to even now.

But for this other friend the betrayal was fresh and raw and bleeding. Even though the actions of this person were a long time ago she had only just found out about it. And she came to me because she now understood words I had spoken to her months before. "Be cautious, this is a small town, watch your back." That was all, no accusations, no ranting, no names, no pack drill. With her newfound knowledge these words resonated and the reason became clear.

"Was it her? Is that what you were talking about?" Yes. I knew of her disgusting claims and behaviour, there are so many she has maligned, lied and bitched about. So many power plays hidden below a smile as she plunged the knife deeply again and again. I could not tell people, I would not stoop to a he said/she said battle. To be honest I think back then when the campaign of shadows and whispers began, most would have believed her. She plays the sad, little victim so well - it is an art she perfected. Maybe my reasons were not quite so noble, maybe I was afraid to ask people to choose. Hell, I believed her for years and it is only with the clarity of hindsight I see how truly absurd some of her accusations were.

Whatever, it was all over now as she seriously underestimated her power and control over others, alienating more and more people. It was another of her disgusted former friends who outed her. One who grew sick of the nastiness and vile attacks, one who had the courage to call enough and walk away. One who knows all I know and more. One who will not stand by and tolerate any more bullshit.

And as each person finds out the truth, the word spreads. Last Friday as I talked with this woman, her pain turned to anger. And revenge. My advice was to walk away, cut the festering wound out, let her cut her own throat. For she will, and has already begun to. I do not know if my words reached past the need to hurt back, an emotion I understood all too well. I hope, for this lovely woman's sake, they did. If not, then others will be hurt as they are told of her lies and deception. But maybe they need to know. It will not be me unmasking her, but I am no longer keeping silent. If asked I am open and honest... or as others accuse me of, blunt and brutal. Sometimes if the scab has been pulled a little it is just better to rip it off fast.

"Why would she do this to me?"  Because she does it to everybody. She is a mean girl. Soon she will be a mean, lonely girl who nobody wants to play with.


Melissa said...

If only it were really that simply, and people stopped playing with the mean girl.

I'm learning the mean girl sometimes wins. Gets it all.

Karls said...

Sounds like a vile person. I feel sorry for her... what has made her become this nasty, horrible thing? It's always so much harder to lie than be honest - she will absolutely come undone. Perhaps she is already living everyones revenge. Her life must have little happiness and substance if she is resorting to hurting others. I love that you have remained above it - tends to be the better path. Besides, she will end up doing the most damage to herself.

Madmother said...

If I knew what made her like this maybe I could have helped her back in the days of friendship and avoided all this pain for so many people I care about.

What is happenning Mel? Is it in response to your post a while back?

Aussie-waffler said...

Well if the movies are anything to go by, the mean girl always ends up with gum stuck in her hair which leads to a really bad haircut.

Madmother said...

Hmmm, now thinking about sneaking up and sticking gum in her hair!

Just kidding... or am I?

Madmother said...

Actually, thinking about it, she already has the bad haircut, lol.

Melissa *Suger Coat It* said...

Oh dear. The crap continues. Sooner or later she will run out of allies.

Madmother said...

Hopefully sooner rather than later as the longer it goes on the more people she hurts. She has a pattern. She moves on to the next BFF just before cutting off the former one. She seeks out people who don't know her and befriends them playing the sweet, helpful person, especially when they are new to the area.

What they don't know is what she is saying about them to others. Usually comments like "Oh, I'm not answering that one. She is so needy."
Or "I like caller ID, I can avoid talking to her."

She makes up nicknames for them... one is Eeyore, another The Tool, God knows what mine was.

Romina Garcia said...

That mean girl needs to go to bed each night knowing she has an evil heart.
To me that is a very very sad existence indeed.
Fuck that mean girl. Fuck all mean girls actually...
(Your writing is spectacular though x)