Mean Girl Monday

"Why would she do this to me?" asked in bewilderment by a lovely lady through her tears. Betrayal, the hardest of all pills to swallow, the actions of a so-called friend throwing trust into disarray. Making you question your judgement of others.

I had no answer. I do not know why this person hurts with intent, I do not know if it is her insecurity or a purile power play. I do know she is not someone anyone needs in their lives. She is toxic. A mean girl. The mean girl who turned on me almost two years ago, the toxic former friend who made my life hell, and still tries to even now.

But for this other friend the betrayal was fresh and raw and bleeding. Even though the actions of this person were a long time ago she had only just found out about it. And she came to me because she now understood words I had spoken to her months before. "Be cautious, this is a small town, watch your back." That was all, no accusations, no ranting, no names, no pack drill. With her newfound knowledge these words resonated and the reason became clear.

"Was it her? Is that what you were talking about?" Yes. I knew of her disgusting claims and behaviour, there are so many she has maligned, lied and bitched about. So many power plays hidden below a smile as she plunged the knife deeply again and again. I could not tell people, I would not stoop to a he said/she said battle. To be honest I think back then when the campaign of shadows and whispers began, most would have believed her. She plays the sad, little victim so well - it is an art she perfected. Maybe my reasons were not quite so noble, maybe I was afraid to ask people to choose. Hell, I believed her for years and it is only with the clarity of hindsight I see how truly absurd some of her accusations were.

Whatever, it was all over now as she seriously underestimated her power and control over others, alienating more and more people. It was another of her disgusted former friends who outed her. One who grew sick of the nastiness and vile attacks, one who had the courage to call enough and walk away. One who knows all I know and more. One who will not stand by and tolerate any more bullshit.

And as each person finds out the truth, the word spreads. Last Friday as I talked with this woman, her pain turned to anger. And revenge. My advice was to walk away, cut the festering wound out, let her cut her own throat. For she will, and has already begun to. I do not know if my words reached past the need to hurt back, an emotion I understood all too well. I hope, for this lovely woman's sake, they did. If not, then others will be hurt as they are told of her lies and deception. But maybe they need to know. It will not be me unmasking her, but I am no longer keeping silent. If asked I am open and honest... or as others accuse me of, blunt and brutal. Sometimes if the scab has been pulled a little it is just better to rip it off fast.

"Why would she do this to me?"  Because she does it to everybody. She is a mean girl. Soon she will be a mean, lonely girl who nobody wants to play with.

I had a whole other post a comin'...

But after a wonderful, therapeutic, soul cleansing day I just think I'll pop this in:



Life is good, new people on the horizon of friendship, darkness dispensed. And finally  the truth is breaking through the bulldust. No more to be said other than karma is a wonderful thing.

Still chuckling away here about some of the stories... Wow, I am so much more cleverer than I ever knew.

The Blogies!

Yep, another blog award, this time given to me by the wonderful Skipper. I am naming this one a blogie, you know... after the logies.

I guess I better do the acceptance speech thingy.

"*sniff* *sniff* You like me, you really like me! I never could have dreamt I would win this prestigious award, I didn't even know I had been nominated at first. To be recognised by one of my most respected peers... well, I just don't have the words to express my gratitude.

I am so flustered, I knew I would forget someone so I wrote a little something just in case...

A few short words of thanks, now let me see... *flip* *flip* *flip*, just bear with me for a minute. Oh, here it is.

Sending out my love tonight to

• My mermaid girls. Mythical or not, I adore your quirkiness, strength and beauty. You know I love you all. Sometimes I so wish I was one of you hiding under the waves. Wouldn't need calm blue ocean if I was under it.

(yes, these are above my desk)

• The professionals who have helped my family over the years. The speechies, OT's, psych's, aides, teachers, principals, lawyers (apt right now), doctors and anyone I have missed. We owe you much more than words can express, you have done so many amazing things for us.
• My cat. It is years since I owned an animal that was solely mine. Flower, I love you as unconditionally as you love me. I even forgive the fleas.

• My family and friends. This last year I have learned some hard lessons about people and their duplicity, about loyalty and betrayal. To those who are honourable, steadfast and true, I love you all. And thank you for your honest words and support. My family, well, you all know how much I worship all my family. My amazing kids, wonderful husband, incredible mother. Enough said.

• The blogs, oh all the blogs who have entertained me, made me laugh, cry, write. I thank you from the bottom of my heart. And on from this, I am passing this blogie onto a further five talented bloggers. Without your inspiration or support I could never have achieved this.

1. Pink Patent Mary Janes. I swear this poor woman must think I am a crazed stalker with the amount of comments I leave her. I wallow in her blog, drool over her photos, just enjoy the whole thing really.
2. Barrel of Monkeez. Straight talker, no holds barred, tell you like it is gal. Love it!
3. Whoa-Mumma! Alex makes me laugh. A lot. And she only lives a drive away - one day we shall do a blogger meet!
4. jemikaan. Yes, I know I give her lots of awards, but she writes the way I think, and we have the same journey to follow. Hers is just a few years later than ours.
5. Ignore Reality. Vicki makes me think, giggle, smile. A new discovery, but one I am enjoying.

And that brings me to the end of my speech. The producer has been frantically gesticulating for me to wind up for the last five minutes, and I thank you all for your patience. God bless the Bloggies!"

Small Town Life

Bemuses me. I think some have too much time on their hands and very vivid imaginations. The he said/she said, he did/she did machinations have totally confuddled me yet again. Apparently I have done something to someone. This time I honestly have no idea what, when or where, and to be honest, do not have the time or the energy to worry about it. If people are true friends they would come and say: "Hey, I have a problem with your actions, can we talk." Instead they fester and dwell, and blame. For what dastardly misdeed, I have no idea.

I had noticed the chill, but didn't realise it was an arctic freeze. So much for loyalty and honesty, just can't be bothered anymore. Even if I asked I am sure it would never be answered. *Sigh*. Not my concept of how friends behave.

No wonder Boy 1 gets confused, I don't have ASD and I'm confused. Small town politics.

One hand waving...

I have awoken engulfed in rage. I am angry, really angry. Triggered by an inanimated object's breakdown (my computer crashed and lost a lot of important financials as it was in the midst of a long, complicated process by one of the programs), my outrage has turned to other events over the last few weeks.

I am sick to death of the two-faced liars of this world walking away without fallout from their actions, I am tired of being made out to be the bad guy, I hate that people are so gullible as to believe the falsities that dribble venomously from tainted lips. I am so sickened by the actions and nastiness of others that I am succumbing to the temptation of joining them in the abyss.

I have all their secrets. I am a ticking bomb sliding uncontrollably towards detination. And I have proof of their words, deeds and lies.

I do not want to be like this. It is against my own personal code of honour to betray even the most insidious villian, especially as it will hurt those who are being sucked in by their untruths. I am not like them, twisted, warped, so caught up in their web that the lines of fact and fiction are perpetually entangled in their own bitter brains. But it is so tempting. And I am so angry.

There are times I know I am quite capable of turning into the very thing I despise. This is one of them. I do not like this.

*Sigh*

That is the problem with being happy, it is so big a thud when you are brought back down. I thought it had all settled, that I was free of her and her twisted manipulations. She had attempted to weasel her way back into my life, but I politely sidestepped. So of course this simple act has started the venom flowing through her veins, engaging that sick psychosis once more. But this time I am taking the official path. Her original actions are already on file with the police. This may well be the one thing which tips the scale and forces me to ask them to intervene, which I had requested them not to previously.

Why on earth do the people in her life allow this sickness to continue?