Sunday, May 30, 2010

Salt Sista!


I have a friend. A sorta new friend, one I have mentioned here before. She is the latest bad influence (yeah right) in my life (okay: sanity saviour). The one I knew online and then went on a wild night out terrifying the locals. The one who is one of my imaginary friends. Okay, just so we are clear:
THIS ONE ->


Yeah, the hot one on the right.

She has been having a rough time of late. Like many of us in the trenches of parenthood when things get tough, she is battling. And so this is for her. A little background for all you others still hanging in there on the boring, bland blog of Madmotherness...
On our first night out we discovered (amongst the many, many similarities in taste) a love of SALT. Yep, you read it right. That terrible distorter of taste, sodium chloride. The health destroyer, the bad, bad mineral, the much maligned:
SALT!

Of course, being the wit she is, my friend then coined the phrase: Salt Sista. Now, me being me, EVERY time I hear this song I think of her. With just a small change of terminology it works... So here, for your enjoyment, and hopefully to cheer up a good friend on a bad day, I give you:
~Train~"Hey Soul Sister"
Listen to it in the background and in true Madmother style substitute my re-worked lyrics.



Hey Salt Sista

Hey, hey hey

The wine’s last dregs left upon old upturned kegs

Headache is quite blinding, so seedy I am finding, knock me out

Life’s hard it seems, appears it is one terrible dream we scream

Our drinking style collided, and from that point decided we’d bond no doubt

Hey salt sista, more wine will make you pissda, we’ll get drunk, on sauvin blanc, all we need is lotsa plonk!
Hey salt sista, bring Sangria I’ll kiss ya, then we’ll drink to dawn...my friend



Hey, hey hey



Empathy, I'm glad you’ll drink in synchronicity with me
Dropped the online bitchin, ain’t bullshit we are pitchin, life can suck.
Yes we drink, saves what little sanity when reality stinks
We will get through, battle-scarred, world weary, and not always seeing clearly but intact



Hey salt sista, more wine will make you pissda, we’ll get drunk, on sauvin blanc, all we need is lotsa plonk!
Hey salt sista, bring Sangria I’ll kiss ya, then we’ll drink to dawn...my friend



The way you skate when drunk, facebook photos show your spunk and style
Photogenic in a funk, yes we are both giggling punk
One day, the boring bland all will have to say: the derby girls are out to play
We are right here to stay our way all day


Hey salt sista, more wine will make you pissda, we’ll get drunk, on sauvin blanc, all we need is lotsa plonk!

Hey salt sista, bring Sangria I’ll kiss ya, then we’ll drink to dawn...my friend

Hey salt sista, bring Sangria I’ll kiss ya, then we’ll drink to dawn... my friend



Hey, hey hey
My Friend.
Hey, hey hey
My Friend…


My friend, not one of my best, I am a little rusty, but I hope it brings a smile to your face. And next time, make sure the bloody song that reminds me of you is a little less *ahem* tricky to rewrite, okay? Just so we're clear.
 

6 comments:

PinkPatentMaryJanes said...

Love it! Must pop over and check out how your salt sista's getting on - she has been quiet.

Mothership said...

A smile? Ohhh yeah! A really, really ENORMOUS one that reached my weary eyes and even lifted my droopy jowls from their most recent resting place. :)

Thank you, thank you, thank you! I totally do appreciate that it was a ball-busting tune to rewrite but, as usual, you have done magnificently.

I shall grin all the more next time it comes on at the gym.

<3

KateJ said...

You are an amazing friend....and have a pretty clever grasp of the English language to boot!! Don't ever change!

Kitty Moore said...

That was such a lovely thing to do! Can you be my friend too please?

Cate P said...

Brilliant. Love that song but afraid I will never hear it quite the same way again now, curse you ;)

Ro said...

LOL
That's a classic crack up, top score :)