Thursday, June 16, 2011

Dialogue Detective: Exercise 2 Write On Wednesdays

Write On Wednesdays

"Yeah, mate I need a sheet of melamine, what dimensions you keep?"
"Hang on, hey Pete, did you want those extra sheets you ordered? The boss put 'em aside out the back?"
"Keep 'em for me for now, if I don't use them for this one, I'll need 'em for the next!"
"No probs. Sorry mate, what was it you're after?"
"I need melamine, a sheet of blah, blah, blah..." (At this point I turn away from our builder to listen in to another more intriguing conversation happening to my left).
"I am after one of those heated toilet seats. The cold weather is making my toilet unusable."
"Ah, maam, I'm afraid I don't know what you mean."
"The heated seats, I saw them on that show. You know, the one on the ABC?"
"I'm sorry. A toilet seat?"
"Yes, a heated one. Surely as the local hardware you must carry them."
"Um, I'll just go ask the boss. Maybe we could order one in..."
"But I need it now. The seat is too cold for me to sit on."
"Sorry, we don't have them in stock, and I haven't really heard of them before."
"Don't bother. No wonder everybody goes down to Bunnings young man, if this is the type of service you offer! How do you expect to sell these things if you don't stock them!"

At this point my builder comes up with the needed sheet and we head off. Not before much eye rolling and smothered giggles by the boys behind the counter at the old lady stomping off (and she may have been little and frail, but boy did she stomp).

Gotta love the local Mitre 10 on a Thursday morning!


Naughty Mumma said...

Haha, oh my! Though, a heated seat wouldn't go astray here ;)

Anonymous said...

Heated toilet seat! That's hilarious. Great find, most adult conversations I've managed to overhear were so boring. But not this one.

InkPaperPen said...

This is excellent detective work. I love that you tuned into the "more interesting" conversation. Talk about making the mundane exciting. And what a character that old lady is?? We can tell a lot about her just from her words. Was looking forward to your piece today as the other two pieces of yours that I have read have been very emotive and personal. This is obviously entirely different but still good to read.

And lastly - heated toilet seats? What, the????

Madmother said...

I know! I want one too! Up here your arse freezes in a second on these cold nights.

Anonymous said...

Great post. I seem to find myself in a hardware store every other weekend, I can totally picture this scene playing out.

Car said...

Hilarious! I personally see othing wrong with heated toilet seats and reckon I could do with one of those seats... Especially at the park when they use those full stainless steel bowls and seats :O

Great detective work.

Leanne said...

LOL! Heated toilet seat? I want one!

Janelle said...

Yeah, heated toilet seats! I know what the lady is talking about! They have them in Tokyo, I had the honour of using them when I was there....not to get too personal, but they really are good hahaha.
Good idea to listen in to a conversation at a store counter. Why didn't I think of that?! I have worked in customer service as a lot of us have, and boy, you get involved in some crazy arguments! Very enjoyable to read.