Do You Remember...

The firsts?


Your first kiss?

I do, it was in Grade 6 with Terry J. He was the school bad boy/spunk.

Your first crush?

It was in Grade 1. His name was Rodney P. He never knew. Not even when I bumped into him thirteen years later at University. *sigh*

Your first real boyfriend?

Lots of puppy love boyfriend stuff, but my first real boyfriend was when I was fourteen, nearly fifteen. Jeff W. Things continued on and off for many flirtations, re-incarnations and lust-filled back seats. As he once said to me in one of our moments: "What other man do you know who has chased you for a decade, and yet has never made love with you?" Of course, that statement could be classed as untrue, depending on your definition of making love...

Your first love?

Now it gets more difficult. I thought I was in love with my first, but I wasn't. I thought I was in love many times. But I wasn't. The first time I truly fell in love I was in my late twenties. With someone totally unsuitable. With someone who could not love me back as he had just left a disaster of a marriage, and it was still unfinished business. And I fell. Then we failed. I often wonder what would have happened if the timing had been different? And am eternally grateful that it was not. For if it had not failed I would not be here now.

Your first true love?

It took me a while to acknowledge he was my soul mate, nearly a year in fact. I was still emotionally embroiled in the what ifs of the above relationship, so much so that even a year of thrills and adventure backpacking through Europe, Great Britain, Ireland, USA, Canada and Mexico had not cured me. We met at a wedding, and my reluctance was not helped by the Bride's insistence that he was perfect for me. For a fling only, of course. I treated him like crap. He has told me many times he would have left, if it were not for the fact I warned him three weeks in that I would test him like he had never been tested, and would attempt to drive him away on a constant basis. I NEVER warned men of my fickle nature, never! And yet I did him...

He is my perfect fit, the other half of me, my reason for being. The only man I could ever imagine growing old with, the only man I want to age beside.

Some people think he is dominated by me, but that is only those who do not truly know him. He is my strength, and does not care enough about trivial appearances to shut me down when I am in performance mode. He enjoys watching me be the show pony whilst he sits patiently in the background. And he is the only man who can stop me with the look, make me cease the attention grabbing antics and take a step back to consider my actions.

He is my true, eternal love, not some wishy-washy fictional character but a flesh and blood man, flaws and all. He is mine as I am his.

Sickening, isn't it...

What about you?