The Dangers of the Internet

I am fuming. Ropable even. A stupid fool on the interweb has taken to posting my private information on sites I do not want it on. She is a passive aggressive fruitloop who takes pleasure in playing sick little mind games online. Now, as most of you know, I have had enough of this sort of behaviour in my real life from two nutters once known as friends. As one in particular has been stupid enough to leave a glaringly obvious trail the last thing I need or want is for her to be able to track me on sites where I wish to remain faceless.

But this stupid fool does not think, nor would she care, it would not cross her tiny little self-focused mind that what is a game to her may impact on my family in reality. Oh no, she'll accuse me of being a drama queen and exaggerating the impact of such actions. Already she has claimed that friends have told her I am like this, that so-called people who know me claim... Well, enough to say that I did not believe her, but now am questioning the people I thought I knew well enough to dispel such two-faced ideas.

It is sad that there is such evil in the world, that someone takes great pleasure in inflicting pain on someone they do not even know.

I am so angry, but am taking steps to cull this presence in any way shape or form. You'd think people would have the brains to know if I wanted my name out there on certain sites, wouldn't I put it there myself? Huh?

Lord, save me from fools and foul bitches.

Imaginary Friends (Or I See Unreal People)

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Most of us who write or contribute on internet forums and blogs will at some point or another make the ghastly mistake of mentioning something to irl (in real life) friends or family. The conversation may go like this:
Friend: "My friend told me that there is a new therapy for kids with ASD, you inject them with sheep's liver and it clings to the heavy metals and helps purge them from their bodies and will cure them."
MM: "Ah, yes I was discussing this with cybermom just yesterday."
Friend: "Cybermom? That is a cute nickname, do you know her from school?"
MM: "No, we are on a parenting site together, I've known her for a few years now. She is really clued into all the cutting edge developments with ASD. I tend to ask her about anything new I hear on the grapevine."
Friend: "Ooooh. One of your imaginary friends *cue condescending little laugh*. Not a real friend. I've always found people on the internet to be a little strange, don't you?"
MM: "No. Do you think I'm weird?"

*Crickets chirrup in the otherwise dead silence

or the longest conversational pause in history*

Friend makes lamo excuse and leaves, quickly.

I have discussed before how I have made some wonderful friends here in internet world. You may have read of the fantastic night I had a couple of months ago with a friend I had known or known of for several years but had never before spoken to or met in the flesh. She only lives a little away, and I would class her as a new but good friend. Since our initial foray (and after bumping into her at the local shopping centre once) we have now caught up a couple more times, the most recent being last weekend at a local winery. Who leads who astray I am not sure, but I do know we laugh a lot when we are together, and never have those awkward silences that sometimes litter conversations with new people in your life.

Yes, I am the old fat one on the left...

Personally, I think she looks pretty good for an imaginary friend, don't you?

I also have another friend of many years standing. We met irl for the first time in 2007. We have since kept in constant contact (she lives interstate, though I am working on changing that), and I would class her as a very close friend. So close we would happily take on her son for life, should she need us to do so. She has stayed with us, with her wonderful son, and we really click. Our thoughts on our boys, very close in age, and how the world treats them, is on a par. I must admit though, she is the more rational one in on-line arguments and tends to allow reason rather than emotion to flow in her posts. I hope she moves here as she wishes, and we can support each other on a constant physical basis, rather than emotional support over the miles (not to belittle how much it means to have this).

Then there was the amazing coincidence when I stumbled across an irl Mum at our little local school whose photo I recognised in a comment on a blog I follow. After much deliberation I approached her, and have begun to get to know her a little more each time our paths cross. She is a lovely person, and funnily, is a close friend of one of my close friends. Her busy life has taken her away from blog world for a while, but I am hoping it is not for too much longer.

 *Hi Waffler! You are missed!*

And of course I now add the wonderful Ro onto this crossover list. Although she too is many miles away, I can see this long-distance friendship will evolve over phone lines, and hopefully into face to face in the not too distant future.

In  fact, you know what? I think it is my internet connections who have gotten me through the dark days, it is my on-line friends who are my safe haven, the place where I come when life is too damn hard, and my stupid pride won't allow me to let others in. It is you bunch of people commenting, cyberholding my hand, and invisibly patting me on the back as I brokenly spill my guts, who pull me back from the brink time after time. 

So, to all those nay-sayers who think these are not real friendships. You are right. Seriously, you are.

These are unreal friendships! The best there is.

A Happy Dance.

Lurgy on the way out (okay, it was obviously just a head cold but it felt yuck), girls all ready, restaurant being organised... I AM MEETING SOME ONLINE BUDDIES, MOST FOR THE FIRST TIME! I cannot wait.

Doing happy dance now.

M.I.A.

Yes, I know I have been missing in action of late. Yes, I have been very slack in relation to this blog, but sometimes life just takes over. This week has been one of those times.

I have been off having FUN!

I guess now you will want details, hmmm? Alright, but I'll have to start at the beginning, so get comfy, glass of wine or cup of coffee in hand, settle back and I'll spill...

Now, at least one here (hi S!) will know this story. Many years ago (June 2006 to be exact) there was a special needs section on a parenting website (I did mention I was going back to THE beginning, didn't I?). In that section there was a forum especially for parents of children diagnosed, or on the path to such, with autism spectrum disorder, or ASD. It was not my first experience of such forums.

In this forum, however, I found a really supportive group. Most had similar ideas and hopes for their kids to what we had. And in particular I became internet friends with one or two. So when the opportunity arose to meet one of these ladies and her son in real life I decided to risk stepping offline and into reality. It was late 2007 when we all met at Dreamworld for a day (myself, sons no.1 and 2, herself and her son). Now, we never can truly know if the person you know on the www is a true and fair representation of who they really are. I must admit, as it was my first such experience, I was scared and nervous. I guess she would have been also. But it was a really good, fun day, and we all seemed to get along very well. And I can honestly say she was as she had seemed to be on the web.

Fast forward to last Sunday. After two more years this friend, and her son, were returning to our sunny state for another holiday and had finally accepted our offer to stay. Of course, meeting someone for 1 day and talking to them online is not the same as having them stay in your home in close proximity for 4 nights. Hell, after some of my stoushes online, I am sure she was worried about being around me for that long too!

Still here with me? Well done for getting this far!

I guess you want to know how it all went? Or had you worked it out from my initial comments? It was fantastic! I can honestly say I feel as if I have known this friend for years (which, in a technological way I guess I had...). We laughed, talked, took the piss out of each other (okay, she mainly took the piss out of me, but hey, I certainly supplied ample opportunity), and generally enjoyed each others company. At no point was there any awkward pauses, even when our kids had their minor bouts.

It is rare in this life, that you find someone you click so decisively with. I am so blessed to have had this chance to get to know her, she is an amazing woman with incredible strength and a wicked sense of humour. And we had such FUN! Hurry back mate, this part of the world is awfully quiet and dull wihout you!

Thinking of you.

One of the Anne of Green Gables movies was on last week. As I watched it I thought of you, and how much she reminded me of you. It is funny, if someone had told me a few years back that some of my closest confidants would be people I had never been face to face with, that some of my dearest friends I could pass in the street and wonder why they seemed familiar, that the written word from you could become my life jacket in times of need, I would have laughed in their faces. How I have learned.

I feel such joy when I see a comment, message or new blog with your name. It is almost like that butterfly feeling you had when anticipating bumping into that boy crush when you were young. It always makes me smile, though sometimes it is fleeting if you are in pain. Then I worry, and want to help but know not how. If those closest to you cannot make it better, who am I to presume to ease the darkness. I am helpless and useless, only capable of sending cyber back pats, trying not to sound patronising, scared in case the words do not convey what I feel in my heart. Terrified I will make it worse.

I am no Marilla, I can only wish I was so wise. But I am your friend.