When Nice People Attack

Everybody has a breaking point. Everybody can be pushed to their limit. Some people seem to be able to ignore and refuse to engage with the nastiness for a very long time. They are genuinely NICE people. They pity others who feel the need to manipulate, threaten or resort to lies to get to the top of the heap.

BUT when you push them too far, even they snap. Especially if children are involved. I don't know about you, but my lioness side rears loudly when my kids are affected!  And when it is the popular and well-liked people who start to acknowledge the toxic nature of one person, others sit up and take notice far more!

Yes, the soap opera dramas continue, more so for other friends than for me (she really has broadened her target area nowadays), and words are being tossed around like psychopath, which I thought a little extreme until I read this:

 A psychopath will use people for excitement, entertainment, to build their self-esteem and they invariably value people in terms of their material value (e.g. money, property, comfort, etc..). They can involve and get other people into trouble quickly and they seem to have no regret for their actions. But there are warning signs. The following warning signs are based on my experience but primarily research conducted by Robert Hare, Ph.D - the leading expert on the Psychopathic Personality:

Characteristics of a Psychopath:

*superficial charm

*self-centered & self-important
*need for stimulation & prone to boredom
*deceptive behavior & lying
*conning & manipulative
*little remorse or guilt
*shallow emotional response
*callous with a lack of empathy
*living off others or predatory attitude
*poor self-control
*lack of realistic long term goals
*impulsive lifestyle
*irresponsible behavior
*blaming others for their actions
*short term relationships/friendships

A psychopath is usually a subtle manipulator. They do this by playing to the emotions of others. They typically have high verbal intelligence, but they lack what is commonly referred to as "emotional intelligence". There is always a shallow quality to the emotional aspect of their stories. In particular they have difficulty describing how they felt, why they felt that way, or how others may feel and why. In many cases you almost have to explain it to them. Close friends and parents will often end up explaining to the psychopath how they feel and how others feel who have been hurt by him or her. They can do this over and over with no significant change in the person's choices and behavior. They don't understand or appreciate the impact that their behavior has on others. They do appreciate what it means when they are caught breaking rules or the law even though they seem to end up in trouble again. They desperately avoid incarceration and loss of freedom but continue to act as if they can get away with breaking the rules. They don't learn from these consequences. They seem to react with feelings and regret when they are caught. But their regret is not so much for other people as it is for the consequences that their behavior has had on them, their freedom, their resources and their so called "friends." They can be very sad for their self. A psychopath is always in it for their self even when it seems like they are caring for and helping others. The definition of their "friends" are people who support the psychopath and protect them from the consequence of their own antisocial behavior. Shallow friendships, low emotional intelligence, using people, antisocial attitudes and failure to learn from the repeated consequences of their choices and actions help identify the psychopath.
~Michael Grayson Conner, Psy.D
Licensed Psychologist
Clinical, Medical & Family Psychology

Dear Lord. They could be right. This one has now reached avalanche proportion with her behaviour and attempted retribution. It is quite scary to watch her try and manipulate her way out of the chaos she has instigated with a "It's not me, it's them, all of them!"

No remorse. Never her, always others. And the circle of those bad people victimising her grows and grows and grows. Must be hard to be the most loathed person in a small community, I know I felt a little like that when all her actions and toxicity were aimed directly at me. When her lies tried to taint my actions with the poison of her own behaviour. Luckily I had good friends to get me through, whilst her circle is shrinking and shrinking. I watched her the other day, when we were both at a school function. Few approached her, many outright ignored her, others talked of her and her childish high school antics (even some who surprised me with comments as I thought they were unaware of the drama). I would pity her if she only would realise what she has done. Hell, I do pity her to be honest. It must be really tragic to be so unhappy, sad to be so ill and unable to seek help because you do not and will not acknowledge your problems... And to be so very alone.

Won't somebody think of the children?

Should Never Have Even Considered

that life was going to get easier. Know how I mentioned in my last post about the sun peeking through? Well, the storm clouds rolled right back in just after I hit publish.

I have a business I run from interstate. I own two cottages which I rent out as holiday accommodation. And I have someone in the full throws of a violent, delusional episode refusing to check out. She was meant to leave Friday, and I had another booking coming in that afternoon - confirmed and paid in full. Instead I dealt with many abusive, ranting phone calls, plus agressive e-mails. Spent day on the phone to police, lawyers, tenancy , Dept of Fair Trading, psycho tenant, employee, new booking, friends and relatives in the village.

You cannot reason with someone whose mental capacity is in full meltdown. No matter how calmly you keep communication they are irrational and in full victim mode. I have been accused of being a terrorist, a bitch, a liar and a thief. She screams and writes that she is telling everyone there what a cold, money hungry cow I am. She is threatening legal action. I do not tell her I am fifth generation in the area, and grew up with most of the people she is ranting to, I do not tell her that I am told how everyone in this small village abhors and reviles her - especially as they know me well and her bad-mouthing only makes her look more of a crazy, stupid female. I do not tell her that the legal team she is supposedly threatening me with has worked with my family on and off for three generations, and this time have been our lawyers for seven years straight. I want to, I want to rant and scream back at her especially as she throws in the "don't care if your fucking mother has died" comment (a fact she learnt from my friends in the area, probably  attempting to get her to be rational and show a little compassion). But I don't. However, I no longer have any compassion for the plight of her own creation, and I will have her removed. In one of her rants she visciously screamed at me: "You have no idea who you are dealing with."

She is still there. So, when my youngest son truly needs his mother by him I now have to fly off to evict her accompanied by security, sheriff, removalist and locksmith. Legally she is now a trespasser. As holiday accommodation we do not fall under the Tenants Act but the far more reasonable Innkeepers Act.

But seriously - this is just what I don't need right now. I have no pity left for this woman, I am fighting too hard for my own family's survival and sanity. And all I would say to her as I prepare to fly out in the next few days:

"You have no idea who you are dealing with you stupid, stupid woman. But by hell you are about to find out!"

The Dangers of the Internet

I am fuming. Ropable even. A stupid fool on the interweb has taken to posting my private information on sites I do not want it on. She is a passive aggressive fruitloop who takes pleasure in playing sick little mind games online. Now, as most of you know, I have had enough of this sort of behaviour in my real life from two nutters once known as friends. As one in particular has been stupid enough to leave a glaringly obvious trail the last thing I need or want is for her to be able to track me on sites where I wish to remain faceless.

But this stupid fool does not think, nor would she care, it would not cross her tiny little self-focused mind that what is a game to her may impact on my family in reality. Oh no, she'll accuse me of being a drama queen and exaggerating the impact of such actions. Already she has claimed that friends have told her I am like this, that so-called people who know me claim... Well, enough to say that I did not believe her, but now am questioning the people I thought I knew well enough to dispel such two-faced ideas.

It is sad that there is such evil in the world, that someone takes great pleasure in inflicting pain on someone they do not even know.

I am so angry, but am taking steps to cull this presence in any way shape or form. You'd think people would have the brains to know if I wanted my name out there on certain sites, wouldn't I put it there myself? Huh?

Lord, save me from fools and foul bitches.