Friday, November 8, 2013

I think I may be heading on back in...

Hello! How are you? Remember me? I used to be that woman who blogged and blabbed and babbled frequently. And I think... maybe I'm coming back.

Just recently I have begun to miss having my safe place, my haven of words. When I lost my mother three years ago (hell - is it really THREE years?) I also lost a lot of my voice. Words that flowed easily seemed clogged behind the huge lump of unspoken grief. My blog became somewhere the memories of Wise Woman jumped out at me, confronting and brash, a place where pain awaited whenever I ventured in. And so I rarely did. I have posted blog entries THREE times prior to this one in 2013. THREE. And this from a woman who wrote almost daily for years.

A lot has happened. I turned 50 last week. My sons are young adults, my husband is slowing down, the wheels of the world continue to grind on, turning, churning constantly.

Facebook has been an outlet to some degree. Sometimes I write pieces more suited to here and yet post them there. It is not faceless, and I must admit the need to be politically correct and play nice has me grinding my teeth at times. And the unspoken words I bite back almost choke me. The double standards and the two-faced nature of some make me want to scream "Charlatan! Do you not think I remember the heinous words you spewed forth about him/her/them and now you are kissing his/her/their feet with your false traitorous lips?"

Yeah, I really need to come back. Before my black and white stark sense of honour gets me in real trouble.

So, how are you all?

Hello?

Anybody out there?

7 comments:

Kimmie said...

Welcome back gorgeous!

Madmother said...

Thank you! good to be back, I think.

Sarah said...

Good to see you back and I agree, Facebook is not always a good place to be, blogs can sometimes be a much safer and open haven.

Madmother said...

I know. I have been telling friends I am so much like Boy 1 in many ways, very much unable to cope with duplicity.

I think I may have bitten right through my tongue some days...

Kakka said...

Your blog has been sitting on my top sites screen just waiting, I know eventually you would come back when and if the time was right. Take as much time as you need there is no pressure, we will still be patiently waiting. But I have missed you xxxx

Kelley @ magneto bold too said...

Welcome back and happy birthday!

I have missed you x

Madmother said...

Thank you for the lovely welcomes! I have been reading on and off so have kept abreast with a lot of your happenings, just not commenting or blogging.

Now to see if I can get back in the swing of things...