Thursday, June 10, 2010

Power and the Passion... Otherwise Known as Passionate or Piss-Weak?

Discussing recent and not so recent events with an old friend evolved into an interesting discussion on personalities. The discussion went something like this:

OGF(Old Good Friend): "You need to realise you are a strong, passionate, highly capable women. And because you are honest and out there you invoke a strong reaction in others."
MM: "You mean I'm a demanding, confrontational bitch who scares the shit out of people!" *nervous titter*
OGF: "Oh, get off the self-pity wagon, that is not what I said at all. Look, we've been friends for over 25 years and I've watched the people around you, and you do, you inspire a lot of people to want to be like you. And because of that jealousy and envy enter into the equation."
MM: "Come on, who the hell would want my life? Look at it, it ain't exactly a bed of roses."
OGF: "Listen to me, it is NOT your life they want, it is the passion with which you live it, and the strength you fight adversity with."
MM: "Yeah right, how many times have you seen me fall into a sobbing mess on the floor?"
OGF: "I know that, and you know that, but there are many out there who do not. And even those that do, see you pick yourself up and keep on going. All close to you realise you are not this hard-arse some think you are, and are a real softy on the inside. But I am saying those who look at you with this type of obsession see only the vibrant, out-there persona and want to emanate you, and when they cannot then those strong feelings make them want to destroy you, make you feel failure like they do."
MM: "Well, they nearly succeeded this time. You mean those who do not make or are ejected from the inner sanctum wish to demolish it."
OGF: "Yeah."
MM: "Wow. Deep. Fringe dwellers?"
OGF: *laughing* "Yeah. Fringe dwellers."

Now there was a lot more to this conversation obviously, and it was made clear that the FD's OGF referred to were the wounded puppies/nutter types I tend to pick up along the way. Those who are insecure and unhappy with who they are, and feel the need to either become someone else or bitch about those who do change their lives whilst they wallow happily in their self pitying poor me attitudes. Jealousy, pure and simple.

 So, I guess my question to all of you out there is this. When you are no longer how do you want to be remembered? As a passionate, somewhat controversial person, about whom conversations still revolve over time (I know I have dearly missed friends who still provoke the "Remember when she/he..." type comments), or do you want to rate the "Yeah, she/he was nice wasn't she/he..." quiet compliment?


Kakka said...

I suppose I would like the 'she loved her family with all her passion, she fought for her family with all her passion, she gave to her family with all her passion' rememberance. My kids still talk about 'Mum's teacher voice' and the time I did this or that to stand up for them at school. But I am not controversial, or at least I don't see myself that way. Rather I stand up for mine and would fight to death for them.

Madmother said...

I guess I am not so much talking about our perspective of ourselves, as I do not see the fighting for my family or beliefs as controversial, but rather the way others seem to view anyone who stands up or speaks their mind.
I know others see me as this loud fighter, I do not agree with them. I am merely being a mother, daughter, friend and speaking up when I think something is wrong.

Epskee said...

No idea what I would WANT said, however am under no illusions as to what i will HAVE said. LOL

I'm sure i'll get those who love me and those who hate me. Just none in between.

And I'm fine with that. I am who I am, and some people can't handle that, for a myriad of reasons. You can like it or lump it, but I will neither apologise nor change for you.

I am a very full-on person, and live my life in a very full-on way, and like you I get my fair share of detractors and wannabe's. Does it cause trouble? Sometimes. Does it hurt? Yup. Does it change anything? No way.

Whatever they say, as long as it's true, I'm fine with that.

Kakka said...

Then I suppose you and I are a lot alike, I don't see my self as controversial and I don't think I am or that you are either. Like you I stand up for what I believe in. It is interesting how others perceive us.

Lulu said...

Don't think I have much control over it but I'm sure it's going to be "remember how funny it was when Lulu *insert embarrassing story here*.
Good O, I hope I die laughing too...

Ro said...

OMG, yes!
I know what you're meaning and how hurtful those insignificant little creatures can be.
Always keep in mind that others treat you as they themselves are feeling - ergo they're trying to either drag you down to be as miserable as them or lift you up into their own cloud of happiness.