Discussing recent and not so recent events with an old friend evolved into an interesting discussion on personalities. The discussion went something like this:
OGF(Old Good Friend): "You need to realise you are a strong, passionate, highly capable women. And because you are honest and out there you invoke a strong reaction in others."
MM: "You mean I'm a demanding, confrontational bitch who scares the shit out of people!" *nervous titter*
OGF: "Oh, get off the self-pity wagon, that is not what I said at all. Look, we've been friends for over 25 years and I've watched the people around you, and you do, you inspire a lot of people to want to be like you. And because of that jealousy and envy enter into the equation."
MM: "Come on, who the hell would want my life? Look at it, it ain't exactly a bed of roses."
OGF: "Listen to me, it is NOT your life they want, it is the passion with which you live it, and the strength you fight adversity with."
MM: "Yeah right, how many times have you seen me fall into a sobbing mess on the floor?"
OGF: "I know that, and you know that, but there are many out there who do not. And even those that do, see you pick yourself up and keep on going. All close to you realise you are not this hard-arse some think you are, and are a real softy on the inside. But I am saying those who look at you with this type of obsession see only the vibrant, out-there persona and want to emanate you, and when they cannot then those strong feelings make them want to destroy you, make you feel failure like they do."
MM: "Well, they nearly succeeded this time. You mean those who do not make or are ejected from the inner sanctum wish to demolish it."
MM: "Wow. Deep. Fringe dwellers?"
OGF: *laughing* "Yeah. Fringe dwellers."
Now there was a lot more to this conversation obviously, and it was made clear that the FD's OGF referred to were the wounded puppies/nutter types I tend to pick up along the way. Those who are insecure and unhappy with who they are, and feel the need to either become someone else or bitch about those who do change their lives whilst they wallow happily in their self pitying poor me attitudes. Jealousy, pure and simple.
So, I guess my question to all of you out there is this. When you are no longer how do you want to be remembered? As a passionate, somewhat controversial person, about whom conversations still revolve over time (I know I have dearly missed friends who still provoke the "Remember when she/he..." type comments), or do you want to rate the "Yeah, she/he was nice wasn't she/he..." quiet compliment?
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