Sunday, February 14, 2010

Valentine's Day


Valentine's Day is, according to wikipedia, an annual holiday held on February 14 celebrating love and affection between intimate companions.

To me it is just another popularity contest to see who is in and who is out. A reason to make some people feel good and another swift, hard kick in the guts to others.


What has prompted my cynical post? Another blog in which a ban put in place at a school in England is discussed. A lot of the general comment concensus is "Meh, life is full of rejection, kids need to learn to deal with it. Toughen up the delicate little petals."

I agree. We can shield them too much. But we also need to realise that the innocence of childhood is diminishing rapidly. The technological era means children are being sexualised far earlier, and kids are trying to deal with sexual innuendo and adult concepts at ridiculously young ages.

In Australia, our suicide rate of young men surpasses EVERY other country in the world! How tragic is that? Now, I am not saying that celebrating Valentine's Day in primary school is a causal effect, but surely we should be building confidence and self-awareness in a positive way at this age (talking the 6 to 13 age groups)? Promoting inclusion and friendship, bonds and support? Not who got how many cards and from who? Who got NONE?


I know, I come at this from an angle of a mother of a child on the autism spectrum. But I am also the mother of another son who is struggling to find his place in the world. Who worries far more about appearing cool and fitting in. Who would see the lack of a Valentine as a crushing blow and a personal failure.


As a mother I want my boys to be confident, assured young men. Able to cope with rejection and the pain of real life, but to do so they need to have the maturity and emotional strength which comes with GROWING UP. Not with growing up too soon. They are kids. We need to LET THEM BE KIDS...



5 comments:

Kakka said...

Welcome to my bandwagon - I so agree - children need to be children not mini adults. I am so glad my kids didn't have the whole Valentines Day thingy to deal with until high school - and even then I was against it. Yes we can't shield our kids from everything and they do need to learn that life is a hard road sometimes but please let them be kids for longer. My pet peeve is little girls that are put into inappropriate clothing by their parents. Sorry I will step off the bandwagon now. Hugs from Perth xxx

Kellyansapansa said...

Sheesh - way to kill the V Day buzz!

In all seriousness, you have some absolutely valid points. I too worry about today's children and how they will be affected by the societal changes we are experiencing. Some of these are truly frightening, like pre-teens bragging about their sexual experience. It makes me long for past eras where children were happy being children and we let them stay that way for as long as possible.

Madmother said...

Sorry Kelly, I know you are one of the last true romantics.

Funnily, I would put myself into that class too, it is just the younger generation I worry about. And the lack of respect shown by both sexes at only 10ish? Terrifying.

InfoMidwife said...

I am saddened by this post.... yes you make some very valid points.... but I like the idea of celebrating "love" in a positive way... my little grandson who is 4yrs old gave me a chocolate rose and said..."love you nanna happy valentines day".... for me thats what it is ....celebrating 'love' not necessarly love between couples...but all love in families...
Happy valentine's day...

Madmother said...

But that is not what the hype pushes nowadays. And that is what is sad. To have this turned into yet another popularity contest, so not on.

What about when the 4 year old becomes 8 or 9 and comes home heartbroken because he was the only one ignored on Valentine's day? Will that not sadden you more?