Thursday, February 11, 2010

The Second Son

I have been asked many times: "Don't you have two boys?" It must seem to many that all my focus is on my oldest and his journey in the autism spectrum as I write about him so often. For days now, I have been trying to write this post about Boy 2, but I seem to get nowhere. Time and time again I have come back, but cannot find the phrases to do him justice.

How do I describe my second son? It is not an easy task to explain the complexities which make up my wonder child.

The Gods were generous when it came to my second son. Boy 2 is a child of true physical beauty, and many have been captivated by his long-lashed turquoise eyes, cheeky dimples and those luscious lips. Not to mention the cleft in his chin. His gorgeous looks also mean he has been allowed to get away with an awful lot in his short life.
From his earliest forays into the school world his teachers allowed themselves to be dazzled. I grew sick of hearing "Look at him, how could you chastise him, he is too cute..." when he had committed some atrocity (luckily usually minor).

Boy 2 both baffles and battles the teachers, and I freely admit can be quite a challenge to handle. But they all acknowledge the wealth of abilities my last born possesses. The school dance teacher pulled me aside many years back to tell me he had the most natural ability she had ever seen in her many years of dance, both professional and at the school. Oh, and that he needed to start lessons somewhere, anywhere. He refused. He point blank won't dance in front of any people other than his family, terrified he may be teased. Yet when So You Think You Can Dance is on he can mimic the moves so brilliantly...

Mind you, the very parts I adore - his dazzling mind, incredibly quick wit and smart mouth -  are also what get him into the most trouble (just like his mother). Last week his teacher told me how, when he was caught mucking up and was in trouble, he responded with: "Well, I am going to tell my MOTHER about this, and she WILL deal with you!" Luckily she was as amused as I was, and knew me well enough to know he was bluffing.

His intelligence and ability to grasp complex concepts means he has the potential to achieve so much. His concern over what others think of him and trying to fit in means he could so easily choose the wrong path. I worry more over him than I ever do about Boy 1. He breaks my heart at times with his adult mind in a young man's body. With the way his life weighs on him. After all, he bears witness to the brother he loves in the depths of despair. I think the dark side of Boy 1 is what has moulded Boy 2 into the class comedian. Wouldn't you learn how to make people laugh when a brother's tears are breaking your little heart?

Boy 2 loves to tell people he looks like his Dad, but is just like his Mum on the inside. A mini-me. I think he once overheard me telling an old mate of mine the same thing. He hadn't seen Boy 2 since he nearly three and was curious about my little man. Luckily Boy 2 could not hear the phone reply. Two minutes of dead silence after my "He's me in a boy's body", followed by a shell-shocked "Oh... FUCK!"

I guess words now fail me because I understand him too well. I almost know what he is thinking before he does, and how hard he can make this life if he is not careful. Of course I do, after all he is me...just in a small boy's body.


Thea said...

I totally understand where you're coming from with this one!
My boy looks like his dad, too. But couldn't be more like me if he tried. Poor little guy! I, too, understand him completely. He also frustrates the hell out of me sometimes.

Kellyansapansa said...

What a beautiful tribute. It sounds like he is a wonderful boy, on his way to becoming an amazing man.

Moragg said...

love and pride. gorgeous post!