Saturday, February 13, 2010

Blogger Etiquette or It's a Small World

I have a dilemma. One I did not expect at all. Reading through another blog I follow, a familiar face peered back at me from the comments trail. Not someone I know well, but another mother from the little school the boys attend. Now, I don't know if you are aware, but I live in a smallish rural area where everyone says Hi and gossip and tattles flow endlessly. It is the proverbial breeding ground for chinese whispers and rumour.

Of course I followed her profile link to her blog, well I wasn't totally sure my eyes weren't playing tricks on me. I just HAD to check it out. So I did. Reading her posts soon had me giggling out loud, she has a great writing style and is a pleasure to read. Oh, and the art! Wow!

 Yes, by now you have worked out, it is her. A Mum I see school-daily, say hello, smile, sometimes chat. We even share a mutual good friend.

To make matters worse (serves me right for snooping), I find we have quite an overlap of followers and blogs we both follow. Now I am wondering has she spotted me? Does she read my blog? How much have I spilled/blogged/vented on here uncensored that she may read and know those involved? I worry I have spilled too much.

But my real problem is this. I really like her blog, in fact I am amazed at how multi-talented this acquaintance is. If it was a stranger I'd be linking and commenting without hesitation, but because I know her... Well, I have chosen to follow anonymously for the first time in my blogging life. I have to ponder on this, it may be too invasive if I approach her, she may not want people irl to know of her blog. I know I have only linked a very select few of my friends myself.

So my question to you all is:
How would you feel if you were this blogger and I let you know I had discovered your blog? Would you feel stalked? Freak out?

I have considered if the roles reversed, and honestly do not mind if people contact me. If I wanted to remain faceless and anonymous I would not have posted the content of some of my blogs, nor the photos. I own what I write, just as in life I own what I say.

Oh, and if you are reading this having stumbled over me as I did you, just come and say hello.


Vicki said...

If you told me that you had found my blog and thought it was great I think I would explode with joy. This might be a great friendship.

Lucy@DiminishingLucy said...

Oh my. Conundrum! Firstly, I triple checked your location and a snap of your gorgeous boys....and you are not at all talkng about me. (I am a bit sad about that actually: I would love it if someone liked my blog as much as you describe hers!)

I have had a very similar experience with a parenting forum I belong to. After YEARS, I realised that another poster was a girl I recognised locally, who I adored "online". I dithered for ages about whether to broach it (ie "out" us both!) and she was thrilled. We are now very close in real life as well as online.

As always, go with your gut. But if you really like her blog, chances are you will really like HER too......sometimes these things happen for a may end up with the richness of a new friend?

Madmother said...

I guess I am wary as it is a small town. If you don't gel then it is awkward from then on.

And after the debacle of last year with people I thought I knew well (and turns out I did not know AT ALL), I am very cautious.

Haven't decided no, just mulling it over longer.

Kakka said...

Oh a dilemma indeed. Like you I only told 2 friends and my immediate family about my blog. But then I did put a link on FB and some other family members found me and I got lots of positive feedback (not on my blog but by email and phone conversations). Maybe she has not recognised you as commenter on other blogs, and so will never find you, but maybe she is anonymously following your blog too - and so will respond to your 'just come and say hello' message - that would be great. But like Lucy says - go with your gut but then I add not with your fear. Hugs from Perth xxx

Vicki said...

while you are trying to work this dilemma out, I have left an award for you at Ignore Reality.

Caz said...

well I've just found your blog and it seems pretty cool! Maybe leave her a comment and then just leave it up to her to approach you????? Life is too short to miss out on a potentially great relationship!

Kellyansapansa said...

I agree with Caz. Leave her a comment and then it's up to her if she takes it any further. If not, you have your answer. I think all bloggers understand the risk of real life and virtual life colliding. If this is a potential problem, then take precautions to ensure your identity remains secret.

Sharnanigans said...

That'd be really cool I think! I see from more recent posts that you did make her acquaintance! Kinda spec.... so are you besties now???

Aussie-waffler said...

HELLO :) And just quietly, you know between you, me and oh, who ever else swings by, thank-you for those lovely comments, I've gone all blushy now.

Madmother said...

All true.