Saturday, January 28, 2012

The Last Post

On this topic anyway.

I keep thinking it is over. Done.

I keep thinking she has finally moved on.

And then, the ugly head is raised again.

Yesterday I had to have a talk with someone. Yesterday I had to once more explain I had not said something she had blamed me for. Yesterday I had to attempt to right a wrong and warn an innocent party to shield themselves from the poison.

Once upon a time I would have shuffled past, head bowed, unable to look the other in the eye. At the worst of the bullshit, when it was still only me, I would have kept my mouth shut, locked in my own bizarre world where my word was my code and I vowed not to stoop to her level.
But this time, instead of being angry and feeling persecuted, I am merely disgusted.Now I see silence is not being honourable, it is not letting others to make an informed decision. So I am silent no more. When (as I was three days ago), I am told of her attacks and lies I now seek out the person the poison has been poured out to, and tell my side. I have given up any hope of her admitting her words and actions, and in a twisted way, count my blessings her mouth blabbed so much, and that she spoke those horrific words to so many. For now it is not my word against hers, it is mine and J's and M's and Big Boy's (which surprisingly, I only discovered yesterday that she had said this particular nasty jibe in person to...) and many others.

It is sad that this continues, it is really nasty that others are still being fed this absolute garbage. And it has reached the point where action has to be taken. Some suggest mediation, but my issue with this is she would refuse to attend. My husband wants us to take the legal path, as people are willing to make statements, support us, tell the truth of what has been said to them. It is slander, plain and simple. And we can prove the fiduciary cost.

I honestly have not decided where to from here. Is it merely making a very sick woman's life intolerable? Will it make her stop, for she is not sensible or logical or even, in my opinion, very smart. To continue this behaviour for 2 & 1/2 years... that is not the act of an intelligent woman. Especially when her actions have now cost her so very many friends. All due to her own actions. And will continue to do so, for it is a very obvious pattern.

New person introduced.
New person moved to BFF status.
Turn on old BFF.

This lady I had to speak to was the first one I witnessed this cycle with, I was the new BFF. This genteel, softly spoken woman was wooed back AFTER everything fell apart for the nasty one. When so many had walked away as the scales fell from their eyes. When the liar looked around and saw so few. She is far more forgiving than I, or maybe just unaware of how toxic the words  bandied about were. Words aimed at her family, not just herself.

After I walked away from our discussion, I knew there was so much more I could have told her, and probably much I was not clear on. I worried that I didn't explain myself enough, that I hadn't clarified things I should have.

And then I realised, I had told her my truth, I had given her my version of the words I was accused of, and could do no more. And if she chose to risk herself and her family by maintaining the relationship, then that was not my business. Her battle, is not my battle. And I had done all I could by being honest and speaking to her as soon as I was aware of the lies.

Now is the time to let it be, for I have said my piece. Until the next shard of poison pierces another...


Ozzie Thriftmumma said...

I have been dealing with someone who sounds equally as vile. This persons latest rumour is that i am pregnant with her husband. I have held my tongue for months but this is just too much!!
I really hope your ex friend grows up and stops spreading her filth around

Alex aka WHOA MUMMA! said...

We need a 'delete' button for those sort of people.

Anonymous said...

You know you have my support no matter what you decide.

Regarding the other person, you've done what you can. It is entirely up to her what, if any, action she takes. Cathy

Anonymous said...

Those type of people need to grow up and get a life of their own! Good work for expressing yourself.

jaak said...

Someone needs to hold a mirror up to her face and then after a good long look has been had the mirror should be whipped away and a one way ticket placed in her hand taking her to 'get a life' island!

Luv you my friend, be strong, keep being awesome cause there's nothing sweeter and more frustrating to people like her than you succeeding while she slowly drowns in her own lies and deceptions!


Madmother said...

Thanks everyone. I had to laugh when a friend e-mailed what I have based my next post one.

Really is spot on. I just need to let liars be liars and sadly, let others work her out when she turns feral hobbit on their arses. Maybe. Or else I need to take her to court and make all her web of bullshit officially exposed on record.