Greeting Card Poetry and Other Drivel.

For those unfamiliar with me on here, or even irl, I am a bit of a puerile poem profligate. I call them my greeting card poems - you know, the sort of rhyming drivel that briefly charms then sours like eating a large packet of jelly belly beans in one sitting?

I also have been know to dissect a good song and mutilate transform it into my own little ditty. Prime examples are my Blog This Challenge winning rewrite of a Midnight Oil classic (yes, I did just sit and do spirit fingers dancing in the instrumental bit); and also my rehash of Hey Soul Sister by Train for a friend. The second was bloody difficult I might add. won't be doing THAT in a hurry again, let me tell you.

But it is my little poems of fun that tend to burst forth at the strangest times. Like the comp over at WoogsWorld atm. Don't get me wrong - the comment ditty I entered is all pretty damn accurate, it just is rhymingly accurate. Bit tragic I guess. Oh, and the rude versions of Christmas songs me and kids have made up. Those I best not post, or your view of me as a delicate little petal may be forever tainted. Really.

And of course I cannot leave out my fundraising efforts, and school projects.

Things like the magnet hand cut out with a marble on the thumb:

Happy Mother’s Day Mum,

I thought I’d lend a hand

Cause I know you are so busy

And always in demand.

On it is a marble

For you to have to put away

I KNOW you lose your marbles

As you tell me everyday.

So next time I annoy you,

And make you tear your hair

Just look upon the fridge Mum,

And your marble will be there!

Or the door hanger, again with marble:

Please Do Not Disturb

Do not dare to enter here

Cause inside is a madwoman

Known to you as “Mother Dear”

Today has not been good to me

I’m losing the whole plot

You know I love you dearly

But some space would mean a lot

I think I’m losing all my marbles

Nothing is very clear

But when you feel I’ve lost them all

You can show me this one here!

Oh, and lastly - my interpretation of the Jar of Nothing:

When I asked you what you wanted,

For Father’s Day this year

I know I heard growled: “Nothing!”

It was so very clear.

I’m sure I heard you right,

When at last you made reply,

Did you not say nothing

As I looked you in the eye?

Now, I searched all sorts of places

High and low and here and there

Until I found the perfect gift

(It is all full of air.)

So next time when I ask you

Sincerely what you need

Recall this Jar of Nothing

And answer properly please.

See, I should be writing for a greeting card company! Now, go to Woogsworld and have a go at winning her JVC camera giveaway.