Weekend Grateful: Dreams.

We all have dreams, but sometimes those dreams seem to be so far beyond our mortal reach that we stop before we even begin to try and attain them.

http://www.genyrants.com/

And at other times they feel so tangible you feel able to reach out and grasp them with both hands.

Right now I am sitting smack, bang in the midst of the latter camp.

Dreams coming to fruition.

An unbearable lightness of being.

http://www.youwall.com/

A release from all the baggage that was grounding me, wingless. For now my wings are unfurled and ready for flight. My inner self is happy dancing - I confronted one of my misery demons and told her a few home truths. Amazing what speaking out against the vile shadow boxers will do, I think more than anything it was being unable to defend myself that ate at my soul. The final shackles have fallen away, and now I am helping others break those chains of hate to free themselves too! Such a feeling, mere words cannot do it justice.

Image: http://www.bibliotecapleyades.net/sociopolitica/breakingthechain/tobefree.jpg

My boys are doing especially well, academically and socially. When all is good in their world, all is good in mine. Boy 1 has incredible things going on, he is even performing a little feature in the Grade 7 graduation dance - pretty damn schmicko for a boy on the spectrum. There is more, but I cannot spill until we are further down the track, but it could be HUGE for my young man. I will let you in on the details once all is signed, sealed and delivered.


Boy 2 has become a LAN party guru. Each month we have up to 12 boys in our games room, all signed in to one network, creating cities in a game called MINECRAFT. Yes you mine. And build, and forage and till. A world unto itself. The phone rings hot for Boy 2 nowadays. He is thriving in friendship.

We have big changes on the horizon, amazing things are happening. You already know of our change of direction with closing our retail store. December 17th is our last day of storefront trade, though the website will continue until all stock is gone. Our lives are evolving, and I know in my heart Wise Woman is watching, smiling, pushing as forward onto new horizons.

Life is dazzling.

So people, dream big. For nothing is impossible. We are only just finding it all out. This is my weekend grateful.

Blog This Challenge 69 - Million Dollar Riff... And Then Some

Blog This Challenge 69:

What would you do if you won the big one. Not one million, or even two million, but a division one prize of 52 million dollars? Would you go public, remain anonymous, use it for good of others, or on family only? If all your financial issues were swept away, what would you do with the rest?

You'd think if I set a topic I'd have some idea of the entry, wouldn't you? Ah, well, no. And to make it worse who else but me would end up with this challenge number? Crikey. What a wedger, as we used to say in my rurally misspent youth. Anyhow, back to the topic at hand. I chose this one because the little newsagency we frequent near work sold one of the winning two tickets in the 52 million dollar jackpot last year. And to think I didn't go down to grab my usual quickpick 'cause I was running late for school pickup. Hell, I may never have had to do school pickup again... I'd just send James the Chauffeur along with Ingrid the Au Pair to do it! Damn, blast and crap. Ah well, on with my entry for Challenge 69....

Million Dollar Riff

Dear friends and certain family members,
I am saddened to inform you we have absconded from this mundane life. Recently our little family of four humans, two dogs, two cats, one cockatiel and several tropical fish won the big one. Yes, that cool $52 million anonymous winner was us. We just didn't want anyone to know. Especially you cousin Errol, you did your dash when blackmailing your eighty-something year old mother into signing blank cheques for your worthless arse to visit her in the nursing home. Oh, and old friend Sue, you may love Versace and Guess but indulging your champagne tastes whilst the power is cut off is not on. So GUESS what? You ain't getting none either.

We have allocated various amounts to worthy people we care about, your burden will be eased. Those of you will already have received the documentation in the mail. Yes, that anonymous windfall was from us. Only you know who you are and it is a legal requirement that you remain quiet or else the payment ceases. Immediately.This trust fund will divest the annuities on a regular basis for the next ten years, so plan well and enjoy life a little more. We have watched you work damn hard and struggle in these hard economic times, same as we did. You deserve this, believe me, and we are so happy to be able to share a little of our good luck.

As for the other $42 million, not that it is anyone's business, but this is where it has gone:

• $10 million bursary to support ASD children within a mainstream environment. Aimed at children aged 6 and over. To help the limbo kids - those struggling with little support, and yet unable to access special schools or public funding.
• $1 million to various charities including Animal Welfare League, Canteen, Lifeline.
• Debt payoff - $1 million.
• $5 million to fund in home care support for the aged, Wise Woman would have loved this.

What are we up to? $26 million down? Ah, yes, halfway.

• We blew $7 million on a private island paradise, think Nekker but better. Eat your heart out Richard Branson.

• Another $1 million on a yacht. Big Boy always wanted one of these.

• Invested wisely $10 million to keep an income coming in.
• Used $2 million for tax advice and avoidance.
• $7 million to play with as we feel the urge.

Do not attempt to find us, we have made sure our trail cannot be followed. Our financiers have been paid in advance to manage the trusts and bursaries, feel free to lodge all complaints and pleas for hand outs to
don'tgiveashit@richbitchmadmother.com.

Just don't expect a prompt response. Or any, to be honest.

Have a nice life.

Yours invisibly,

P.S. Another round of cocktails please Jeebs. Oh, and rub some more lotion into my shoulders would you Simon... Yes, he is the cabana boy.

It Sure Ain't What I Expected...

Well, as I nominated this topic in the EB challenge, I guess I'd better enter.

What were your hopes for your firstborn when pregnant and how have you had to adjust them to reality.

Funnily enough, my first pregnancy was unplanned. We had been married only six months, and not begun talking about attempting to fall pregnant when some higher power chose to take it out of our hands.

I was not one of those glowing expectant mothers. I threw up for four and a half months. In fact, at my six week post-birth check up I was six kilos lighter than my pre-pregnancy weight! I felt like an alien had invaded my personal space...Not content with making me very ill for twenty four hours a day for the first half, this thing all of a sudden started kicking, doing back flips, using my bladder as a trampoline and causing chronic indigestion! My stomach not only looked like a bad special effect moving of its own volition BUT total strangers kept approaching and touching me! ARGH! I hated it! My body had suddenly become public property...

Expectations? Hopes? None. I had enough trouble getting through each day as it was. In hindsight it was probably for the best. I won't go into the disaster of the birth, nor the high blood pressure issues of the last trimester. They are not what this tale is about.

Then he was here. I loved being a Mum. I still do. When they tell you these little people reach in and grab your heart in an eternally tight grasp they are not kidding. My love for my children absorbs me.

So I guess in my case, my dream adjustments were a mere hiccup. All I have ever wanted for my children is happiness and contentment. I am not ambitious on their behalf, I do not expect them to fulfil MY dreams. I want them to follow their own path and define their own futures.

Yes, when he was diagnosed with an Autism Spectrum Disorder I had my bad days. I still do when times are tough. But I have recognised that my expectations were in fact just that...mine, not his. And let me tell you, his dreams far surpass mine. Boy 1 has to work harder at certain things others take for granted. In a strange way it is almost a blessing, as he has learnt to push through the difficulties, and he does not expect life to be easy.

So, how have my hopes changed? Well, I know he won't backpack around the world by himself as I did. But considering his grand plan is to invent a time machine AND to find a cure for cancer I really don't think it matters, do you?

Ambition, dreams and reality

I have come to realise I am easily disheartened. I walk into bookstores and allow myself to wallow dispiritedly amongst the maze of shelves. There are so many books, so many writers, so few opportunities. A multitude of wonderful writers exist in this world; the majority undiscovered, unpublished, hopelessly lost in the masses of other desperate talented tale spinners... it is easy for me to lose confidence. It may be that I am a quitter, or that I do not have the drive or energy to fight my way through hundreds or possibly thousands of rejection slips. It could be that I just don't have what it takes and I am kidding myself to even harbour these thoughts. All I do know is this need to write burns through my very soul, even if it merely results in reading material for a select group of family and friends.

Hell, we can always use them to start the fire in winter!

Autism Inspiration

I have found a wonderfully positive blog by a writer/mother. I have become a follower, but wished to post the link for those of us on the ASD journey. It is well worth your time having a look.
http://www.esteeklar.com/

I know I should be sleeping, but reading this blog has started my mind ticking over not slowing down. I was only thinking yesterday, on my drive home from work, about what messages I want my choices to give my sons. Yes, I am jumping back a couple of posts to the roller derby stuff. I guess part of the reason I am seriously pondering the offer is to send my kids a strong message: You can achieve anything if you set your mind to it. Let's face it, here I am around 30 kilos overweight, nearly 46 years of age, two young kids, one of whom has Asperger Syndrome, and I think I may well become a roller derby girl! Come on - who could have thought that was a possibility or even within the realms of the possible? I certainly didn't, even the 16 year old who still lives on deep inside me did not consider it. It is all about looking at the positives, not the negatives, and hope. Dare to dream, dare to believe in the good not the bad, dare to see the miracles not just the disasters.

Dare to soar.

And watch out for me and my wheels as I zoom past! See boys, if Mumma can skate, you two can move mountains!