Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Whiplash - The Day My Boy Broke.

"I thought you had it easier, don't tell me it is still going to be hard!" Recent words from a dear friend whose little spectrum man is in Prep.

Autism Spectrum Disorder. Asperger Syndrome. A way of life. A lifelong disorder which doesn't miraculously vanish.

My oldest son is an amazing young man. But he is still on the autism spectrum. My oldest son is exceptionally bright, intelligent, smart... whatever you want to call it, but he still has Asperger Syndrome. His inner light can be dulled, crippled by his anxiety and stress. Strangled by isolation and assumptions of others.

My boy is compassionate, wise, inspiring and giving. But with change all this can be masked under uncertainty, fear, misjudgement.

New people look at him and they see only the label. Lost is the security of the school he attended for seven years, lost is the knowledge of what an incredible journey it has been, lost are his achievments in winning through some of the crippling challenges life has thrown his way, lost is the vision of his personal growth and amazing strength and beautiful heart.

Lost. They only see today.

We knew it was going to be hard.

And it is.

We just have to believe his light will shine through once more.

We know it will.

I just sometimes wonder why life has to be so damn painful for these kids. The most special kids I know. The ones who take your breath away with their ability to forgive.

He is not a label. He is Lewis.

Remember his name, for one day you will sit back in awe and say "I know that boy."

P.S. This is the reason I called a halt to any movement on his book. I am his advocate, HIS. For him to add the stress of the trail to publication onto this massive change year... well, it would not be a positive for HIM.

It is not forever, and as I explained to him, it will always be the book you wrote at thirteen, no matter how old you are when published.


Anonymous said...

Lewis will never be lost, because he is loved and cherished by his wonderful Mum and Dad.......lost are the ones who don't try to understand. Hang in there, dear friend.

Suz @ Segovia and The I Love You Song said...

This makes my heart hurt. I am sorry that you are going through a tough period and that Lewis is struggling. I'm also sorry that sometimes people are ignorant assholes but they just are sometimes aren't they? Wishing Lewis and you love and strength and peace. xoxo

E. said...

People will see past the label and see your Boy for the person he is. You all know how far he has come regardless of what other people say or do.

The first year of high school can be rough but much more so for our kids. I hope that the issues are short lived and then the true nature of your Boy can shine through.

FoodMuster said...

HI, thanks for sharing your post on my link up:) Working in Special Education I have an idea on what life can be like dealing with a child with austism. You are an amazing person and mum, and I don't know you, but I can read that in your words. Lewis is a lucky boy:)

Anonymous said...

I am cheering your Lewis on from the side lines. There will be kindred spirits out there for him who accept and treasure him. I logged onto your post hoping to gather some ideas on teasing at school of an Asperger's boy. Our journey has just begun.

Leanne said...

I know that boy ...He's the one with the amazingly fabulous mother.