Just jumping in quickly to link and post some stuff. My dear friend Jen, over at Jemikaan, is living in the throws of battle on the fields of Asperger Syndrome. It is bloody tough, and I must admit, easy to forget just how bad, until someone pulls the scab off to remind you of the festering wound below.
Recent posts of mine sing my oldest boy's praises. He is thirteen, he is in the throes of puberty, he has Asperger Syndrome, he is incredible. A couple of examples are in my Dragonfly post, or the Hum in my life one. There are many more, but I won't bore you with them all.
For before the good came the hard. The days of working, pushing, fighting, intervening. The nights of sleepless worry, second guessing constantly. The days in which I wrote this:
"What can I say to people to let it out? They say how average, normal he seems but they don’t live it. The fights, struggles, mood swings – his and mine. And the questioning of how much damage I am doing to his brother. How wrong am I getting it? The doubts, anger and frustration of living day to day. The struggle to do normal things like taking a family break. He told me today “I will kill you” and he probably will, somehow, sometime; the heart attack or stroke from the stress, the gun when he is older and angrier… the alcohol I use to feel better... or not to feel at all. So now I sit, unable to sleep; and type and cry.”
Many, many years ago now, so far back in the dim dark past that I need to track down the original to see when it was written (2005). In 2007, I wrote this piece for my first foray into creative writing. Life With Autism. Raw, painful truth. Go, read it. It is good to remember how damn hard it was then. It makes the wonderful young man he is now so much sweeter to savour.
Why this post? Because I want friends like Jen and others who are still caught in the throes of the battle to know it is possible for it to work out as you dream it will. It is conceivable that a light will appear at the end of that dark, difficult tunnel. And those hopes and dreams you have for your child? I am here to tell you they can come true. Ours have. Take heart, stay strong for the possibilities are endless.
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