Saturday, October 10, 2009

Early Morning Rambling

It has been a lovely few days. I spent most of Thursday with my Mum. Well in reality I have spent most of Sunday, Monday and Thursday with my Mum, and to able to say that makes my heart overflow with gratitude, love and joy. She turned 90 last Monday. This time 1 year ago she was in hospital, had yet another fracture in her vertebrae, and the bladder tumour had just been found. And the powers that be (we now know them as the powers that be so wrong) decided she was inoperable. Not the tumour, my mother. She was sent home to die slowly, inch by inch, each day losing a little more of herself, until in February she had a massive bleed, rushed off in ambulance to closer hospital, new specialist, new hope, and now renewed life. Cancer free. I am deliriously happy to be with her, to be able to be with her and not crying, leaning over a plot in the ground. She is a pure bright joyous light in my life.

So after a Mum week, a friend came over on Friday to give me a wonderful massage and some interesting conversation. She had given me the voucher for my birthday last year, but had to also give me a swift kick up the backside to get me organised. I always feel guilty taking time for myself when there is so much that needs to be done. But it was absolutely fantastic! And interesting to hear someone else's opinions on certain situations. I have finally learnt my lesson, I did not instigate or open up any of the doors to the disappointments of the last few months, I merely listened. And felt such relief that I am not alone in my perception of some as having no ability to keep confidences, and their desperation to be liked by all and be a part of the "cool gang". Phew. It is obvious to others, and they too shake their heads at her lack of discretion. Thank God.

And now we have a manic weekend hitting. Off to get groceries this morning, ready for DH's BBQ tonight, then off to skating this afternoon, and then soccer presentation in the morning and off down the coast tomorrow afternoon! Catching up with an old schoolfriend I haven't seen in about 5 years. Better than the last gap, that was 20 years, lol. Life is busy. Life is good. I can float to the surface now the dead weights have been cut away. No more frantically gasping for air.


Melissa said...

I still smile every time I think of her. How she showed them all!!

jlydia said...

How fantastic it is that your Mum is still very much with you!! And I'm so glad you seem to be feeling much better. Enjoy!