Saturday, February 11, 2012

Your Funeral of Choice - Eden's Fresh Horses Hop

Death. The final frontier... Sorry. should be more respectful and serious, shouldn't I?

Edenland's Fresh Horses Brigade

Death. Something I have personally seen too much of not to be allowed some gallows humour.

~It is often said that before you die your life passes before your eyes. It is in fact true. It's called living. ~(Terry Pratchett)~

Death. Whether you believe it is the end or merely another journey, it is hard to think about and deal with when you are the one left behind. I do not fear death, I fear leaving this life and those I love. I worry it may happen too soon, and my children will be left without their mother.

But that is not what this link is about. The question asked by Eden is:
 "Tell Me Your Funeral Song."

If my mother were alive my choice would be different, for I truly believe that funerals are for the living not the dead. It may be a celebration of someone's life, but it is for those attending and the memories they shared and need to be reminded of.

When we buried Wise Woman, the funeral director asked me if I wanted music played as the coffin was lowered into the grave.

I have mentioned this before, I am sure. For a moment there, a song flashed through my mind. The song my mother and I danced to like drunken marionettes around her lounge room. A song that was playing on the radio as I drove into her home only a few weeks before she became ill, a couple of months before we lost her. A song for which I cranked the car radio up full blare and rolled down all the windows. Her neighbours thought I was nuts, but she was laughing as I came in the door. A song of great joy, and wonderful memories full of laughter.

A song that my delicate, refined, gentile mother with her hidden, warped, ironic humour would have appreciated... fleetingly. (Appearances, MM, you are still my daughter and we must keep up the standards of decorum...)

Can you imagine the solemn faces changing, my elderly relatives gasp of horror, the minister's look of disbelief if belting out of the cd player, as her coffin slowly lowered was... wait for it...

"Working in a coal mine, going down down. Workin in a coal mine, whoops I mighta slipped now..." ?????

But, again, this is not about that, but my choices.
I want the biggest party. I want them to play "Back in Black" as the people walk in. I want them to play "Don't Worry, Be Happy" as my coffin is taken out.
I want there to be a big mothafucka screen on the wall where my pre-recorded message can be played.
And my first words...
"BOO! Well, that scared ya, didn't it?"
I want memories and joy, and laughter and tears...
and I want my boys to go: "That's our Mum... she was always a Madmother"
And I hope they are old, and I am older and have done all I need to keep them whole.
That is all.


Teni said...

We played "Don't worry, be happy" at my Pa's funeral last year :) My auntie (his daughter in law) thought I was being so disrespectful when I insisted on it, but he would've loved it! I was so peeved when I didn't get a say in my Nan's funeral, I almost threw a tantrum to get my little touch in Pa's.

I hope whoever's in charge of my funeral does a good job. No-one likes a bad funeral ;)

edenland said...

Oh my god what a gorgeous post. Thank you!

I want to keep my boys whole too. And I adore the hell out of that Pratchett quote. And your mum sounds like the BOMB.

xx eden

Sharon A. said...

~It is often said that before you die your life passes before your eyes. It is in fact true. It's called living. ~(Terry Pratchett)~

How right you are.

Anonymous said...

Which version of Don't Worry, Be Happy? Guy Sebastian's or the original that I can't get out of my head now, thank you very much! lol
Don't Worry, be happy now! do do do do do doodoo etc! Cathy