Saturday, August 27, 2011

Weekend Grateful: Hope.

I follow a lot of blogs of Mum's with kids on the spectrum. I AM the mother of a kid on the spectrum. Autism has kicked my arse and the legs out from under me more times than I can bear to remember. Search this blog for ASD, the posts are endless.

Ten years we have been on this ride. A decade. My first born is now 13, quickly approaching 14. Puberty is running rampant, hormones are in overdrive, Year 7 school pressure is mounting fast.

Should be a horror story in the making, eh?

I am here to tell you otherwise. I am here to offer other mums something I struggled with during the bad days, the early hard days. I am here to give you hope.

If you had met my son when he was little, you probably would have reacted the way so many did. Pity. Pity for me, pity for us as a family, pity for the lack of quality of life you assumed this low functioning, severely affected little boy would have.

Yes, he was that badly affected.
Big Boy & Boy 1 2008

No matter that I adored him and believed deep within my very core that his strengths would win out, you, as an outsider, would have thought I was deluding myself. Hell, there were a lot of days I thought I was deluding myself.

But some stubborn, gritty, intense thing deep inside me would not accept the dire predictions of the professionals, of friends, of random acquaintances. Something called a mother's gut instinct. I fought against the world like a lioness in full attack, WE fought against convention, traditional ideals in the autism world, the specialists. Me, Big Boy, Wise Woman, even Boy 2. Our family core, our battalion.

He is thirteen. When you meet him you sense he is different (oh God, don't get him started on string theory...pleeease). He will never be your typical bloke. No, he is far too extraordinary. I could go on and on. But all I can tell you is the fight is worth it. And fight you must, for this is their very future we are talking about.

Boy 1 & C - August 2011
Best mates for over a decade
 This boy was with seven other boys at Adventure Parc for his little brother's birthday last weekend. Climbing rope bridges, swinging from pulley contraptions, launching over huge drops on a flying fox. He and his bestie only completed two of the four runs. Why? Because his mate has an issue with flying foxes and a fear of heights. I met them both walking out of the bush, only to be surprised at the role reversal. For once it was Boy 1 supporting, encouraging, just being there for his friend. And happy to do so.

My young man. No longer a boy. Well on the way to becoming the incredible adult all around him can now see. Yes, even the naysayers have had to succumb to a mother's vision. To acknowledge this amazing teen. Most want to bottle him, or at least swap their surly ones for him. I, of course, refuse.

I am so grateful to be able to post this, to share with others a positive outcome (so far). To offer hope. Believe in your gut, fight with your heart. The impossible is possible.

Thanks Maxabella, for giving me the opportunity to give back.


Squiggly Rainbow said...

Hi There! Just found you via Maxabella! I'm also a Mum with children on the spectrum! xo Rach

Daisy, Roo and Two said...

How amazing you are! ANd how amazing Boy 1 is! You must be so proud!

Naomi said...

This makes my heart sing.

Best advice I was ever given at the many conferences I go to with sessions on ASD was this: That each child has a strength -search for it, seek it out, find it and fight for it.

I have, I am, I will. It is my promise as an educator.

Beautiful post on a beautiful boy and family.

Kakka said...

I love to read that Boy 1 is going so well. I love the way you encourage others. You are one amazing woman MM. xxx

Jen said...

He is such an inspiration! So amazing and giving, just like his Mum. K was sitting with me when I looked at your adventure park photos the other day, he really looks up to boy1 and was amazed at the climbing photos etc. You know this already, but you do give me hope! We had many many dark days last term and you pulled me thru them! I thank you and boy1 for sharing your story and encouraging us as we trail a little behind you in time and stages xo

Nurture the Little People said...

Hi there! this is a lovely written post. There is definitely something to be said for a mother's intuition! Good on you for going with yours. SOunds as though you have a great supportive family. And you are doing an awesome job by sharing your story and letting others know that there is HOPE, and life does not have to fit into the text book mould!


Broni said...

What an amazing post!! I agree with y 100%. The is nothing like mothers's intuition ... Or determination to help her child. What an amazing story of achievement amd hope for others. I know I draw such inspiration and hope from people like you and your wonderful son.

Thanks fo sharing on Life on the Spectrum!

Kirsty @ My Home Truths said...

Thank you so much for sharing your inspiring story - this is just what I needed to read tonight. My son is 7 and currently highly anxious and stressed over his upcoming transition to mainstream. Tonight was not a good night for us - it was great to read how far your son has progressed, you should be so very proud of him!

Maxabella said...

Goosebumps, MM. You always believed, you never gave up, you fought for what he needed. Oh, lucky, lucky boy to have a mother with hope. x

Suz @ Segovia and The I Love You Song said...

Thank you thank you thank you. You and your boy inspire me beyond anything I can write here. I am grateful for the support and the mentorship. You know how hard I am fighting and believing and hoping. It's with every fibre, every single day. Help keep me on track when I wander off the path will you? much love xx

Madmother said...

Thank you for all the lovely comments. I am just his Mum, no different to so many others. We love them, fight for them, kiss wounds, hold hands, laugh and argue with them.

I just wanted others to know it can get easier (though tonight was not all roses and smiles - grrr, hate homework and assignments and pressure on ALL the kids, not just mine).


What a bloody fine job you've done, and shit hasn't he grown. In so many ways.
Good work, you gutsy parents. x