Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Life is Unfair.

I have a Billy Joel song playing again and again on an endless loop in my head. Only the good die young.

It is a strangely upbeat song for someone sinking into the darkness.

These are the lyrics which echo in my mind after hearing Big Boy's words when I rang him with the news... "Why do the nice people in this world suffer these tragedies and trials, yet the toxic nasty ones go forth without nary a ripple of discomfort?"

We have been friends for over twenty years, I can even pinpoint the date we met. 8/8/1988 - the day I began work at a large investment insurance company. Even through divorce, distance and life's ever changing cycle of demands we have always remained friends. We talk weekly. She and her husband flew in for my 45th bash a few years back. We have shared laughter, tears, anger and sadness. We have had drunken nights, saved kittens under cars, danced at each others wedding.

Friends. The genuine thing.

Today I received a text. In February they diagnosed her with a type of pre-leukaemia with a name so big I could not begin to pronounce it. It was the day she was due to have her large bowel removed after many years of issues. They did not go ahead, obviously. And in the months that have flown by my words of frustration and anger at the lack of action or treatment whilst the medical big wigs pondered this medical dilemma which is my friend, have echoed down the phone line.

"Do you want me to fly in? I am good at kicking medical butt after Wise Woman's fiascos."

"Not yet, I'll tell you if I need you."

"You sure?"

"Yep. For Now. You can be my secret weapon."

"Or your loose cannon, heheheh."

"That too."

Finally they decided to go ahead with her op... but today I received the text.

"It has developed into acute leukaemia. Op off, chemo starting next week."

I have a huge solid knot of fear pitted in my stomach. My gut instinct is sending huge red pulses of angst through out my soul. Those fucking idiots - they had caught it so damn early and yet failed to act. Now I am scared it is too late. I am terrified we will lose her. I am helpless, frustrated and angry.

And if I am feeling this way, how in hell must my gorgeous girl feel?

For God's sake, her girls are only so very young. She is a mother, a wife, a daughter, a sister, a friend. This is not right. It is so very wrong.

Only the good die young, and she is pure goodness to her very core. Please let it not be so this time, please, please, please...


Sarah Mac said...

Thinking of you and your friend. x

Anonymous said...

Be strong. She sounds very special, and with your combined strength she will fight. xo

Melissa *Suger Coat It* said...

I'll keep you & your friends in my thoughts. Beg the powers the be with you. Hugs my friend. This sucks.

Melissa Jane said...

Positive thinking goes a long way. She will need you through all of this, and thank you for being there when she gets through it.

E. said...

I'm so very sorry for your friend. I hope that the chemo does it's job fast and she can have her op sooner rather than later.

Tracy said...

I am so very sorry your friend has to go through this and the sadness & frustration you must be feeling.

Fingers crossed she will come through everything and live to see her daughters grow into women.

Leanne said...

Best wishes to you and your friend. As you know my Mum had an Acute and very aggressive form of the big L. She is alive and well and climbing mountains, building community centres and digging for water in remote under-developed island locations 25 years later. I wish the same for your beautiful friend. Loads of positive energy being sent your way MM.

Kakka said...

God that is just not right, why would they wait so long, it just does not make sense. It seems that the medical profession is so caught up in their own life on the pedestal that they are failing the very people who need them.

I am so sorry for your friend and for your too. I hope the chemo works, that it is not too hard on her given she already has health issues.

I imagine that with you on her side, she already has a powerful force to help her though, even with the distance that now physically divides you.

Strength my love xxx

Apples and Autobots said...

I came to leave you a link, but now I just want to give a virtual hug. I don't know what else to say. Here's the link I was going to leave, and know that I'm thinking of you.