I have a new follower, and I always go have a look and a read. I am a great believer in mutual blogging and simultaneous comments. Liked her blog. Until this.
Why We Suck
Now, I have no issue with her review, in fact I agree with most of it. However, as the mother of a child on the autism spectrum I take great offence at someone writing about something THEY HAVE NO LIFE EXPERIENCES WITH.
Mrs P.'s summation on her blog of the chapter I am referring to is as follows:
In a chapter entitled Autism Shmautism, where he talks about his suspicions about the rise of autism diagnosis in the US (parents looking for a way to excuse their own poor parenting and their child's general dumb-assed-ness - he does acknowledge that there are genuine cases, no disputing that) he uses the stories of how he became a published poet and how he learned to act (he wouldn't take no for an answer and never gave up) and finishes the chapter with some choice words of wisdom gleaned from his parents and his own experiences. One of my favourite's was -
No one owes you anything and being born into a free society means you get to say whatever the hell you want but it doesn't mean anyone has to listen.
And one of the things his dad taught him
The harder you work, the luckier you get.
I am sorry, but what a crock! What in the hell does working harder have anything to do with an affliction you have to live with. Shit - should I tell Boy 1, who amazes me with his strength, purity of heart and inherent belief in the goodness of all, "hey boy, you know all those things you find so hard? You know how other kids look on you as a freak, ridicule you behind your back and even sometimes to your face, you know how truly terrifying you find the world to be most days? Well, shit, if you just work harder then it will all be okay! Why can't you control that stimming that makes everyone look at you? Work harder! And your phobia about insects that makes you cry in fear? Work harder! Hell, ignore your psych and other specialist because Denis FARKIN Leary knows what he is talking about, even if he is a B list actor and a failed author!"
Do you know why today he is home? Oh, he is tired alright, but also one of the very few boys who would spend time with him in the breaks has moved away. And he is lonely, so very lonely. And sad. So now I am sitting here in tears to think that some will read this absolute bullshit and dare to think ANY parent would want this for their child. EVERY parent I know with a kid on the spectrum fights tooth and nail for help for their child. LAZY? Hell, I am exhausted from nearly nine years of FIGHTING for EVERYTHING.
I am at my wit's end as I watch my beautiful oldest struggle with the everyday, my heart breaks when he sits fighting back tears because he knows I will cry, and asks me: "Why is my life so hard? Why does my brain make me do dumb things? Am I a retard like the other kids say?"
I struggle to help my youngest son as he wrestles the dilemma of loving his brother and the pressure of helping him. The internal fight he has with himself as he sees his brother alone and sad in the playground when all his friends want him to go play with them. Without his brother. How hard he is finding life trying to fit in to a society that ridicules disability all while coming to the realisation of how very different his brother is.
And I am sitting here crying because some idiot failed american actor has decided in his wisdom, that he needs to dribble more shit into an already unendurable situation. And I am tired. Tomorrow I will pick myself up, dust myself off, put back on my optomist glasses and keep on putting one foot in front of the other. But not today, today I need to allow myself to release the pain. Because if I don't it will drown me. And I am tired. Too tired to swim.
I just didn't realise they gave doctorates out for bullshit.
Fuckwit.
