How Much Can One System Screw Up?

I mean, honestly! Wise Woman has been in this private hospital for eight days. So far we have had the incidents mentioned in the last two blog entries, plus other minor ones such as constantly coming in the middle of the night to change her incontinence pad. Ah, she is not and never has been incontinent AS WE TOLD YOU EVERY DAY THIS WEEK, AND AS HER NOTES STATE!

But by far the biggest fault has been the physical damage caused by their arrogance and inability to listen.

Yesterday she was transferred to the rehabilitation unit. I arrived about thirty minutes later to find her in a shared room. Now, this is a woman who is obsessively private and not really social. She loves her own company and peace and quiet, even more so when she is in pain. So, being the Madmother, I go in to bat and have her in a single room five minutes later. First hurdle down. I then go through and REPEAT all I had informed the other ward and staff of. Repeated myself, pushed the vital points.

At 1pm I have to leave for 2 hours (rest time). I return at 3pm to find her room in uproar. This ignorant, arrogant, old enough to know better little shit of a physiotherapist forced her to lie flat on her back (impossible at the best of times, excrutiating now) and when she could not lift her legs off the bed he had a nurse yank them skyward. I walked in around ten minutes later to hear her telling them she had to go home NOW. God, I am still shaking in outrage and anger 24 hours later.

He hurt her, really hurt her. She is so much worse than she was on admission. I brought her here to heal, not be injured further. You can guess how much wrath fell on his and every staff member's head within calling distance, and yes then I called the legal team. I think the threat was dismissed when I told this stupid fool and his co-horts that this is the path I would take. You should have seen the faces drop as I used call connect to be put through, and even more so when they saw I was put straight through to this well-known litigator. And then the looks of horror and fear as I dictated the latest offence and re-iturated the previous ones. Arrrrgggggghhhhhh - IT SHOULD NEVER COME TO THIS! What happens to those without a Madmother daughter to kick arse? I am so, so angry.

And so disappointed that this is the best of a bad lot when it comes to the aged in hospitals. We are giving it the weekend, the physio has been told by the head doctor to stay away. She is now only to be given gentle walking exercise to keep her mobile. There are two massive signs in her room stating: "Do not assist unless requested by patient and THEN only following her detailed instructions."

If she wishes I will bring her home Monday. We will organise private nurses and I will scare the fuck out of them with detailed instructions BEFORE they go near her. Her carers are ready and willing to step back in at the drop of a hat. We can and will do this if she wants.

A month ago, this was my happy, content, secure mother:

This is my scared, in pain, frail mother today:

Can you see how light in her eyes is nearly extinguished? By hell, if they have broken her fighting spirit I will kill each and every one of them who has contributed to this farce. I am just crazy enough to do it too.

Controversy

I am following a thread on my regular parenting website hangout. I will not post in it because I know certain parties would take great pleasure in deliberately misinterpreting my intentions, and twisting my words. The thread is titled: The Word "Retarded". Of course there are lots of people in their posting how derogatory and offensive it is. In any usage. I think in most cases that is true.

But for us it is a word, as is spastic, used in this household. To take the malicious intent away and minimise the emotional damage to our oldest child. Some would say: "He is bright, explain it to him and he'd understand!" or "You are perpetuating the misuse of these terms and continuing the cycle of abusive behaviour by repeating these insults." If he was your average child, I would agree. But he is not. If I was sure he would never encounter these terms in a detestable attack, I would not refer to them. But it has already happened. I do not use them frequently, and I do not use them lightly. I use them to help my child deal with what HAS and WILL be used to humiliate and belittle him. I use them to take away their power to hurt.

He is a not a child to whom the social graces and nuances will ever come easily. He is not a child who, knowing the dictionary definition, would react calmy or unemotionally. He is a child with a great sense of quirky humour who now holds the balance of power when someone calls him these names. Why? Because what we have done in the home by desensitising him allows him to laugh and walk away. Basically disarming the offender's attack and foiling the intent. And as offensive as our methods are to some, they have worked. Sorry, I am not taking the politically correct path this time. I am taking the one which helps him more.