Parenthood Review - Maybe I should do this weekly?

Hello again. It is time for me to once again address this week's episode of the Ron Howard acclaimed series: Parenthood. Well, the bit in it that addresses Asperger Syndrome and its accompanying issues any way.

Yes, again. Stop rolling your eyes, I am entitled to my opinion thank you.

Credit: NBC

Last night's episode here in Australia contained an epic emotional meltdown in the emergency department of a hospital. To summarise briefly, Max (the child with AS) and all of his extended family (parents, sibling, grandparnets, aunts, uncles, cousins and various partners along for the ride) were assembled waiting for news of his cousin, Amber, who had been in a serious car accident and was undergoing surgery.

Withing three minutes of the beginning of this episode Max and Adam have a confrontation as Max appears to show absolutely no empathy for any needs other than his own.
"I wanna eat"
"Right, let's see what they have here."
"No Dad, you said that we could go to get pancakes
"Hey"
"and now I've been here for an hour and a half
"Hey"
" and I wanna go."
"look at this, this looks good,"
"No I don't want a danish
"Max, take it easy. This is one of those times where we have to be patient, okay. We're here for Amber and Drew..."
"No. You said that Amber was not going to die..."

You can see where this is going, right? It escalates into Max shouting, "I'm hungry! No Dad, I don't care about Amber right now. I'm hungry and I wanna eat now!"

Of course his Grandfather then yells at him, which takes it even higher... Max tells him to shut up, lashes out at his mother physically... and so on and so on.

Of course we all compare this child to our own, especially those diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome.

But, everyone needs to keep in mind IT IS A SPECTRUM! I watched this episode and listened to Adam talking to his son about empathy, what it is, how to act, and I can tell you I am with Tony Attwood on this one...

At a conference I attended many moons back, Attwood stated: "It is a misconception that these children do not feel empathy. They feel empathy, but have difficulty expressing it.

We have an emergency hospital room story of our own. My mother. Another fracture in her spine. Along with bleeding from her bladder. A large hospital in the capital city of our state. We arrived at 6pm, and were still waiting for her to be admitted at 10pm. My oldest was around the age Max portrays, maybe a little older. I asked Big Boy to take them home, and I'd book in somewhere for the night. It was an hour's drive to return to our mountain.

Both my children refused, point blank. Both stated unequivocally that they were staying to make sure their Nanna was looked after and settled and then we would all go home together.

BOTH. You could not have picked the child on the spectrum that night. Amidst, noise and chaos, blood and screaming, flickering fluro lights and stressed families they were calm, determined, supportive. Of me, of my mother, of each other.

And so that scene and THAT meltdown was one I found totally foreign. And yet I know others related, and I know it is yet again a case of informing, educating and for the drama, worst case scenario.

Boy 1 & 2 May 2011: Credit Madmother

So what did I get out of the show last night? Gratitude. Thank you God for giving me this amazing child, for both my incredible sons. Thank you for his heart, and strength and compassion and EMPATHY. And thank you for this incredible journey and experience. It sure as shit ain't boring!

Done for this week, and as it was the season finale who knows when the next will be.

Oh, and that night at the hospital? We arrived back to our beds at 2.30am.

The Good, The Bad and the UGLY...

I am sorry peoples, but I am getting back up onto my soapbox today. To say it has been one hell of a day is a massive understatement, and the only way I can get through all this is to start with the hardest.

The Ugly:

This person is a supposed social commentator. Prue Macsween. Last Sunday, 11th July 2010, on the Channel Seven Sunrise programme this woman espoused her views on classroom integration. The topic was one of a teacher suing the education system for her loss of voice from yelling. The number of special needs children in this class was cited as one of the reasons for her yelling (always an effective tool when dealing with children with various disabilities, and yes my tone is dripping with sarcasm). This lead to our uneducated, ill-informed, big mouth no brain friend spouting some classics such as:

• Children with special needs should not be allowed to be in mainstream classes with “normal” kids - not quite sure what the definition of normal is;
• Children with special needs hold back children without special needs;
• Children with special needs should be "put somewhere and trained” and where they can be “properly administered to”;
• Children with special needs should be slowly re-introduced into a classroom once or if they are properly trained;
• Oh, and just for good measure she said all boys are retarded... I think somewhere in her little mind that was meant to be funny. Ha. Yeah, ha.

This incident has impacted so strongly to many parents and family and friends that there is a facebook page devoted to the topic. Go, if you feel as sickened by bigotry and segregation as I do, please join. In just 48 hours it is rapidly heading towards 900 members.

Now, I think the lovely people who started this group are more tolerant of this sort of thing than I am. If it were up to me I would take all the small-minded, self-obsessed, discriminatory idiots like this one, put them in a special training room, and keep them there utilising some archaic forms of teaching which I am positive are now outlawed. Unfortunately I am not allowed to do this, or to start a group to suggest it. At the very least she needs to be fired. But knowing the way the television industry works she'll probably be given her own show. Matty Johns anyone?

You know, you just get sick of beating your head against ignorance sometimes.

Ah screw it - this is such a big issue I am giving it a post all of its own. I'll blog the rest later.