Throbbing Thursday - That Got Your Attention, Didn't It?

I must admit to sitting here wondering:
(a) if  because I did two posts yesterday I could skip today's post, and
(b) what the hell started with "th" to go with Thursday!

Of course the answer was sent to me in the form of blog inspiration. (PSST Lori, yes you! Your sexy stories and guest posts were what did it. You naughty girl, you...) And so I give you:

Throbbing Thursday

Now a couple of things before I begin. Firstly, you need to remember I probably have a good fifteen - twenty years on these girls. You can look at that two ways... One, I probably gave up on sex a long time ago and am old and boring and like nothing more exciting than a good cup of Earl Grey... or Two, I lived in the days of sexual freedom before AIDs and celibacy were hot topics, when hook ups were known as one night stands, and Dencorub and ice cubes... Ah well, we'll leave that one, shall we?

Secondly, I met my husband, Big Boy, at age twenty-nine. And had lived a full sexual life until settling down to monogamy for the last twentyish years (alright, seventeen, but that IS nearly twenty). Therefore I have quite a few *ahem* escapades up my sleeve for sharing.

But on with this post, eh? If you want to join in I may well make this a regular event and even beg some help to do a button/code thingy like Trav's for Memoir Mondays so people can link up. Ooh and a Linky like Brenda does for FlogYoBlog. Give me some feedback peoples and let me know, I'll understand if it is a little too spicey for ya...

For today though, post a link in your comment if you wish to partake. Now to quote most Playboy Forum entries:

I never thought it could happen to me BUT...

 Ah, no. So not me. In fact, because I have pre-ambled for so long, I am going to start off this regular feature with a quickie, literally (Anais Nin, eat your heart out).

Some of you may remember the Toy Boy from here. Yeah, the lustful liason who was quite a few years younger than my twenty eight years. Okay, he was twenty two. And looked like Brandon Lee in "Rapid Fire".

Not a bad way to console yourself when suffering from a badly dinted heart. But on with the throbbin' (and I think I will have to write this in the third person like a tale, I do have some boundaries).

Throbbing Thursday: Tales of A Toy Boy.
The room was dark. All the bravado of the last few hours had faded as the effect of the drinks wore away. Two strangers only hours before they were going to be as intimate as two people can be. Electricity had sparked and sizzled on the dance floor, as lips met, meshed and tongues tantalised with sensual promises. But in the cold of the dimly lit room the passion seemed to ebb.
They looked at each other across the bed. Absurdity and laughter bubbled forth, as the ridiculousness of the situation became apparent to both. The deep dimples which had attracted her earlier re-appeared as he flashed that brilliant, cheeky smile reminiscent of a movie star. Her pulse quickened and body warmed, the chemistry resurging to her tingling nerve-endings. God I hope he is feeling this too, she thought to herself. As if reading her mind, his grin widened and he walked around to sweep her into his arms and break into a disco jive. Laughing, humming the beat, they swept around the room until they fell onto the bed entwined. Slowly, sensually, lips slid and slipped, nipped and tasted, teasing, tantalising... tempting.



Aww crap, I have to go to work. Will finish this in part two next week? M'ok?

The Competitive Nature of Blog Awards

I am laughing so hard at the moment and it bloody well hurts! Have just followed E.  @ whining at the world around the blogosphere handing out notifications about the last blog award post. Felt like the dag following the cool kid and copying her moves.

Just remember my friend - imitiation is the sincerest form of flattery!

Luckily, for me, it was not the same award...

And now, my turn to bestow the same one she was shopping around.

Once again, here are the rules:

1. Thank the person who gave you this award. Already done in last post, but will again. Thanks Jen!
 2. Share 7 things about yourself. See below.

3. Pass the award along to 7-9-15- however many  bloggers who you have recently discovered and who you think are fantastic! I had said only six on my last post but as I have to share seven things I'll make it seven.



4. Contact the bloggers you've picked and let them know about the award. Give me a chance to list 'em would ya!

Seven things from my deep dark history. Oh crap, how do I find seven things I haven't already shared?

• I wanted to be a singer. Desperately wanted to be out the front of a band rocking my arse off. Had all the moves, just missing one thing. A voice. My singing sucks.
• I was bullied at school. Probably why I am so protective of my two boys and any hint of this recurring.
• I crank the music up when alone and dance, dance, dance. God was being very nasty when he gave me a child who cannot stand any loud noise.
• From sixteen to around twenty-nine I took an hour and a half to do my makeup and hair. Every day. Sometimes twice. Even to do the grocery shopping, did not set foot outside door without full face on.
• I have an incredible memory. If I read something once I can nearly recite it word for word.
• Up until my early thirties I could out drink ANYONE. Nowadays I am a cheap drunk.
• I love browsing through antique shops, second-hand bookstores, and op-shops.

My list of seven new discoveries from blog heaven:

1. Thea @ Do I really Wanna Blog? Really enjoy reading Thea's take on her life. Find myself sitting nodding in agreement. Shame no-one can see.
2. Leanne @ Deep Fried Fruit. Outspoken, honest, says what we all are thinking a lot of the time.
3. Lulu @ Unperfect Life. How can you not like someone who has "When life gives you lemons, reach for the Tequila" written in the title of their blog?
4. Lori @ Random Ramblings of a SAHM. She is really funny. And creative and makes new words up like I do. 
5. Kitty Moore @ Kitty Tells It As It Is.  A truly gifted writer. Her story in a captivating series of blog posts (start at the oldest and work your way through). Oi Kitty - write faster, I'm waiting...
6. Fiona @ Fe... a life. Because she is raw, truthful and blunt. Just the way I like it.
7. Tara @ Waffling Along. For lots of reasons. Firstly because she is one hell of a tlented lady, secondly, even though she is busy she needs to bloody well start blogging again. Screw Twitter - we need you more! Thirdly, because I know her. Yep, really face to face. She is THAT one.

And that bloggers is it. Off to inform the lucky recipients. Then to pop more painkillers.

The Blogies!

Yep, another blog award, this time given to me by the wonderful Skipper. I am naming this one a blogie, you know... after the logies.

I guess I better do the acceptance speech thingy.

"*sniff* *sniff* You like me, you really like me! I never could have dreamt I would win this prestigious award, I didn't even know I had been nominated at first. To be recognised by one of my most respected peers... well, I just don't have the words to express my gratitude.

I am so flustered, I knew I would forget someone so I wrote a little something just in case...

A few short words of thanks, now let me see... *flip* *flip* *flip*, just bear with me for a minute. Oh, here it is.

Sending out my love tonight to

• My mermaid girls. Mythical or not, I adore your quirkiness, strength and beauty. You know I love you all. Sometimes I so wish I was one of you hiding under the waves. Wouldn't need calm blue ocean if I was under it.

(yes, these are above my desk)

• The professionals who have helped my family over the years. The speechies, OT's, psych's, aides, teachers, principals, lawyers (apt right now), doctors and anyone I have missed. We owe you much more than words can express, you have done so many amazing things for us.
• My cat. It is years since I owned an animal that was solely mine. Flower, I love you as unconditionally as you love me. I even forgive the fleas.

• My family and friends. This last year I have learned some hard lessons about people and their duplicity, about loyalty and betrayal. To those who are honourable, steadfast and true, I love you all. And thank you for your honest words and support. My family, well, you all know how much I worship all my family. My amazing kids, wonderful husband, incredible mother. Enough said.

• The blogs, oh all the blogs who have entertained me, made me laugh, cry, write. I thank you from the bottom of my heart. And on from this, I am passing this blogie onto a further five talented bloggers. Without your inspiration or support I could never have achieved this.

1. Pink Patent Mary Janes. I swear this poor woman must think I am a crazed stalker with the amount of comments I leave her. I wallow in her blog, drool over her photos, just enjoy the whole thing really.
2. Barrel of Monkeez. Straight talker, no holds barred, tell you like it is gal. Love it!
3. Whoa-Mumma! Alex makes me laugh. A lot. And she only lives a drive away - one day we shall do a blogger meet!
4. jemikaan. Yes, I know I give her lots of awards, but she writes the way I think, and we have the same journey to follow. Hers is just a few years later than ours.
5. Ignore Reality. Vicki makes me think, giggle, smile. A new discovery, but one I am enjoying.

And that brings me to the end of my speech. The producer has been frantically gesticulating for me to wind up for the last five minutes, and I thank you all for your patience. God bless the Bloggies!"

Sugar Doll Blogger Award

I think the Gods are trying to tell me something, because I have now been awarded this twice (interpreted as "Get off your arse and do something about this, you lazy woman..."). Firstly, Jacintah over at Live life now! gave it to me, and now Melissa, from The Things I'd Tell You.... has passed it on also.

So now I have to dig deep into the memory banks and find ten more random things I have not as yet blurbed all over the net.

Ten? Ten, unknown little ad hoc facts? This is the bit where I kick myself for having a big mouth and posting my stuff all over webland...

Hmmm, what can I come up with?

Think, woman, think!

 Okay, here goes:

• I was a tomboy growing up. Guess I still am. Whilst my older sister cooked and sewed, and did girly stuff, I was mowing, edging, raping and pillaging the garden, stoking up that blazing incinerator and helping Dad in the shed. I was Dad's Boy. Really.

• Following on from previous fact, I can re-tube a pianola! Ever seen the inside of those things? Comes from hours of sitting helping my Dad in his restoration work. In his shed. Him on one side of the mechanism, me on the other. Tube after tube after tube.

• When I was twelve I saw AC/DC at the Civic Theatre in my little country home town. Got all their autographs, including the late great Bon Scott. And lost the damn piece of paper somewhere in one of my cleanouts! Not happy Jan!

• For some bizarre reason, when I commenced my writing course in 2007, the instructor got it into her head that I knew exactly what creative writing was all about. She kept looking to me to validate her points, with statements such as: "You know what I mean." and "You'd know about that, wouldn't you?" when I had NEVER had any writing experience at all post school. And of course, I kept nodding as if I did...

• In my youth I constantly changed my hair, was in hair shows, had weird and wonderful cuts and colours. Started in high school with the old pink food colouring in my strawberry blond hair for the school disco, progressed to black reverse streaks in my blonde hair, blonde bleach as my hair darkened, layers, cut short at back, left long at front (as someone commented, looked like I had been hit by an axe in the back of my head), blue streaks, purple streaks, flouro pink streaks (that was June this year). I even died it deep red once, and bought blue contact lenses - plus new makeup, new wardrobe... very expensive experiment that one was! Hated it even after 12 months, didn't look like me in the mirror.

• I sleepwalk. Haven't for a few years, but that is more likely down to the broken nights with children, not that I have grown out of it. Have numerous funny stories I could tell, but will restrict it to a couple. When I was around twelve Wise Woman 1 and the Flame-Haired Hellraiser were in the kitchen having a late night cuppa. I walk out, smile angelicly and murmer "Fart number fourteen" turn and go back to bed. Didn't let one rip, merely made comment. The second tale is a little more embarassing. I was in my twenties, useless boyfriend of the time was staying as was his mate. I slept naked back then. Woke up looking out door of sunroom - still starkers. Having walked straight through spare bedroom where mate was, and realising I had to return the same way to get back to clothes in bedroom. I *think* he was asleep. I sure as hell hope he was asleep...

• I used to skateboard. Blame it on Leif Garrett, or more to the point, my teenage obsession with Leif Garrett. Anyone remember the movie "Skateboard"? Boy 2 now has my skateboard. Numerous falls, but no broken bones, thank goodness. For either of us, touch wood.

Wooohoo - only three to go!

• I am afraid of heights, but refuse to let it control me. Have done stupid things like rock climbing just to prove fear cannot and will not dictate my actions or choices.

• I used to water ski! Managed to get onto one ski, but never conquered barefooting. Haven't skied in ten years, might have to give it another run soon.

Last but not least,

• I am a friend collector. I have friends from all the stages of my life, childhood, school, Uni, all my various jobs, motherhood, and now my kids' school, and of course, the internet! One or maybe two, sometimes more, who have stayed in my life and been there by my side, as I am by theirs. True friends. I think the poem is right, and I am blessed to have many lifetime friends. Anytime you need me, know I am here.

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.

When you figure out which one it is, you will know what to do for each person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON,

it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.

They have come to assist you through a difficulty;

to provide you with guidance and support;

to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.

They may seem like a godsend, and they are.

They are there for the reason you need them to be.

 

Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time,

this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.

Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.

Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.

What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done.

The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON,

because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.

They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.

They may teach you something you have never done.

They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.

Believe it. It is real. But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons;

things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.

Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person,

and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.

It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

Thank you for being a part of my life,

whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime.

Now, to pass this on...

All of you are wonderful bloggers who I enjoy so much:

1. Dharma at A Mermaid's Diary of Living Out Loud  - really like this woman, think we'd be irl friends if we lived closer!
2. Pink Patent Mary Janes love her blogs.
3. Gretchen at Cocktail Mom, found her through Gwen Bell. Enjoying her style.
4. Sharalyn at Daily Musing of a Rainbow Life, of course.
5. And Sally, one of my faves... a blog by any other name

And I think all others already have it so it is a short list this time!

Honest Scrap Award and the Ten Things You Never Knew!

Again, my thanks to Mrs E. at Whining at the world. Very unexpected, but much appreciated.

Okay, here we go. Ten little known facts from the one they know as Madmother:

1. 
   
   I am adopted. I was blessed enough to be adopted at 3 months of age by Wise Woman 1 and dearly departed Grumblebum. Sister to the flame-haired hellraiser (also gone but much missed). I could not have had a more wonderful family, and you already know how much I treasure the last surviving member, WW1.
   
   
   

2. 
   
   I lived in inner Sydney for eighteen years, in a terrace house next door to another terrace in which lived five gay boys. Used to go the clothes line in my knickers, or even sometimes naked (figured they wouldn't care). One was moving out after five years, at the farewell party he leaned over, a wicked glint in his spectacular blue eyes, buff muscles rippling as he whispered in my ear: "Thought you should know, I'm not gay..."  Holy crap! He moved back to NZ the next morning. *Sigh*, shame about that.
   
   
   

3. 
   
   I have a Bachelor of Economics. Worked in finance for fifteen years. Am not sorry to be out of the industry, not one little bit.
   
   
   

4. 
   
   I have travelled the world for a year backpacking all by myself. Embraced the freedom and versatilit, enjoyed the friends I made, thrived on the challenge. Fell in love with France, Ireland and Mexico. Absolute, unconditional mutual admiration of all things these countries unveiled.
   
   
   
5. 
   
   Whilst on the subject of Mexico, I have to confess a little stuff up which greatly amused Boy 1, Boy 2, Big Boy and Wise Woman 1. I have a quite limited comprehension of a little spanish. In other words, nada, zilch, none bar the very bare necessities. I flew on some very small airlines, and on one flight from Mexico City to Merida I *ahem* misunderstood one announcement. Ended up getting off at the wrong stop (I told you it was a small airline - we town hopped). Villa Hermosa. Middle of nowhere. Luggage including passport flying off into the great beyond. And me running down the tarmac after the plane arms flapping, screaming, top of my lungs:  "Stop, stop, ablo inglesse? Merida, Merida!" Don't worry, obviously it all ended okay as here I am, in one piece telling my tale...
   
   
   
6. 
   
   I live in a big house. Have decided to share this after nearly causing the sudden demise of a dear friend the first time she saw it. Sorry Sharalyn, should have warned you. And as I think I will be meeting many more of you over the years I figured I best prepare you. We designed so that if either Wise Woman 1 needs to move in, or if Boy 1 stays well into adulthood, we are ready.
   
   
   

7. 
   
   I lost my sister, the flame-haired hellraiser, when she was only nineteen years of age. I was one week off fifteen. Asthma induced heart attack. Which is why I am terrified when any of my family suffer upper respiratory infections causing shortness of breath. I do not sleep when anyone is ill with this.
   
   
   
8. 
   
   I have finally learned to laugh at liars. Walk away, let them live in their nasty little worlds, justifying themselves at every turn. Use it for the amusement it provides, and concentrate on the wonderful, genuine people in the world. And there are plenty. Took a while for me to learn this one.
   
   
   
9. 
   
   I snore. I snore like the BFG. I can shake the house on a bad night.
   
                                    
   
   
   
10. 
    
    I yearn to write. It is like an addiction I cannot break. I write in my head in the shower, on the toilet, in bed, driving... One day I will write the novel I have planned in my head. You might have already known that.
    
    
    

Okay, now you know some of my deep, dark secrets. On to the fun bit.

I am bestowing the Honest Scrap Blog Award to the following people:

No. 1 on my list has to be my dear friend, Sharalyn at Daily Musing of a Rainbow Life. You will often find us posting very simlar thoughts and ideas, and it is not because one is following the other. We are on the same wavelength, especially on the subject of our special boys. Our web relationship has now flowed into reality and I have to say she is one of my most trusted, closest friends. Even if she does give me heaps. She makes me smile.
Next is Sally over at a blog by any other name. She inspires me. Always. What a woman!
Third is Jen at jemikaan another Mum on the Aspie Rollercoaster, I find her views refreshing, and a reminder of our days past.

Oooh - four to go! And it has to be people not already awarded this...

Number four (sounds a little rude, doesn't it?) is Alex who is definitely a Whoa-Mumma! I tend to giggle a lot when reading her blog.

High Five is another Jenifer, this time at Odyssey. Another Essential Baby blogger.

Sixth is jlydia, at Resilience. She makes me look at things from another perspective.

And last, but certainly NEVER least, the culprit who inspired me to leap into the world of blogging, the beauteous Melissa, The Things I'd Tell You.... I looked for this award on her blog as I had thought someone would have already posted it (and I've probably missed it). But even if it is a double up, it is crucial for me to do it again.

Blog This Challenge 28: Secret Squirrel Stuff

Your Hidden or Unusual Talent...
Time to fess up!

Can you touch your nose with your tongue? Do you sing soprano? Are you a whizz with a budget or have a black belt in karate? Make a mean roast or have you received some form of public recognition for something real that your readers don't know about?

Blog This

 

You mean something I have not blabbed all over the interweb already? You like to make it hard for a girl, don't you. Let's see, you already know all about my roller derby ambitions.

 

You know I fake a mean feast. You know my reading tastes, be it the literary whore's trash or her slutty tease tastes. So I am a bit befuddled as to what secrets or hidden talents I have left to reveal. I mean, I do bake a mean roast, but I am the third generation of women in my family to do so and it is hardly a hidden talent. The queue rolls up the driveway when word gets out it's roast day...

You know all about my desire to write, you know I am good at organising fundraisers.

Oh, hang on a minute - I have it! I am the grand duchess of parties! You didn't know that, did you?

We have had many parties here over the years, ranging from small intimate gatherings to massive blockbusters. Every tiny detail meticulously planned. And each has been a wonderful success, in fact my friends complain I set the bar way beyond too high... I set it to impossible, or so they say.

Boy 1 and Boy 2 were allowed the grand celebration for turning five, then ten, next will be fifteen, then eighteen, and twenty-one. They can do their own from then on!
The five year old parties involved a jumping castle, pony rides and large numbers of friends. Oh, and a theme. Boy 1 was obsessed with Batman, Boy 2 dinosaurs. I even had dinosaur chocolates made to go with the dinosaur party bags, dinosaur cake, dinosaur balloons, dinosaur treats and toys - well, you get the picture.

By ten it had evolved into laser skirmish (Boy 1) and roller skating parties (Boy 2).

But our biggest party by far was our Halloween party three years ago. Seventy-eight people, of which thirty-six were children. We hired witches to entertain them and had the whole house transformed into Ghoul Hollow, but my favourite thing was an interactive skeleton which hung at the front door. He greeted guests with comments such as: "Nice mask, oh sorry that's your face!" or "I'd come in with you but I ain't got the guts."

Came close to similar numbers for my forty-fifth last year. Around sixty people packed the function room at the local pub. It was cheating in a way, as all I had to do was book the venue, choose and book the band, pick the food. And invite people. They did the rest. Danced my ass off all night.

"Am I ever gonna see you face again..."

We are planning another Halloween party next year. Think it may be even bigger than the 2006 event. Have started planning it now... gravestones on driveway: check; ghoulish webs, terrifying soundtrack: check; new batteries for my mate, the skeleton: check, check check! And that is only the stuff I am prepared to spill here. Make way for 2010's most horrifying, spine-chilling, incredibly fun event:

Halloween with a Madmother!

Mwahahahahahahaha...

 

So there you have it. My deep, dark secret none of you knew. And I am sorry but no, I am not available for private bookings. In fact, I'd rather you kept it a bit quiet. I mean, only a few hundred of my nearest and dearest have any idea about this hidden skill...