Simply Sunday

Ah, apologies. Meant to post a Saturday blog entry but was enjoying real life too much. So I decided that weekends are gonna be a one post period! Here it is.

Sundays like this are for cuddling up in front of a roaring fire.

For laughter and fun.

For stirring the pot.

(Tacky enough for you sweetie?)

And for loving life.

As they say: wouldn't be dead for quids. Though I do sometimes wonder how much they actually pay...

Flogyoblogasaurus - A Rare Find on Flog Yo Blog Friday, Alrighty?

No, no, NO! Not that type - they are a dime a dozen!  THIS TYPE:

OH YEAH, BABY!

Well, it is Flog Yo Blog Friday, after all. But hell, I sure had to hunt him down for a while, big mother bloggerasaur he is.

As the head flagellator honcho says... 

• Follow my blog. (if you haven't already done so).
• Grab my bubbly button and post it on your sidebar.
• Link your First Name and/or Blog Name and URL (not your homepage) below. Add a short description (max of 125 chars). It could be a description of yourself, your blog or a teaser to your latest post.
• Follow at least 1 linkyer/blogger (Pay it forward is the name of the game).
• The list will be open for linkyers on Fridays (I've extended the closing time by the way, to accommodate my non-aussie peeps).  
• A new and fresh link list will open every Friday. And you will have to link up AGAIN. The previous link list does not carry over to the following week.  
• And lastly, have lotsa fun.

Oh, and he is real. The Flogyoblogasaurus. Cross my bra strap and hope to snap. Or is that crack? Like a whip, ya know, right?

Throbbing Thursday - That Got Your Attention, Didn't It?

I must admit to sitting here wondering:
(a) if  because I did two posts yesterday I could skip today's post, and
(b) what the hell started with "th" to go with Thursday!

Of course the answer was sent to me in the form of blog inspiration. (PSST Lori, yes you! Your sexy stories and guest posts were what did it. You naughty girl, you...) And so I give you:

Throbbing Thursday

Now a couple of things before I begin. Firstly, you need to remember I probably have a good fifteen - twenty years on these girls. You can look at that two ways... One, I probably gave up on sex a long time ago and am old and boring and like nothing more exciting than a good cup of Earl Grey... or Two, I lived in the days of sexual freedom before AIDs and celibacy were hot topics, when hook ups were known as one night stands, and Dencorub and ice cubes... Ah well, we'll leave that one, shall we?

Secondly, I met my husband, Big Boy, at age twenty-nine. And had lived a full sexual life until settling down to monogamy for the last twentyish years (alright, seventeen, but that IS nearly twenty). Therefore I have quite a few *ahem* escapades up my sleeve for sharing.

But on with this post, eh? If you want to join in I may well make this a regular event and even beg some help to do a button/code thingy like Trav's for Memoir Mondays so people can link up. Ooh and a Linky like Brenda does for FlogYoBlog. Give me some feedback peoples and let me know, I'll understand if it is a little too spicey for ya...

For today though, post a link in your comment if you wish to partake. Now to quote most Playboy Forum entries:

I never thought it could happen to me BUT...

 Ah, no. So not me. In fact, because I have pre-ambled for so long, I am going to start off this regular feature with a quickie, literally (Anais Nin, eat your heart out).

Some of you may remember the Toy Boy from here. Yeah, the lustful liason who was quite a few years younger than my twenty eight years. Okay, he was twenty two. And looked like Brandon Lee in "Rapid Fire".

Not a bad way to console yourself when suffering from a badly dinted heart. But on with the throbbin' (and I think I will have to write this in the third person like a tale, I do have some boundaries).

Throbbing Thursday: Tales of A Toy Boy.
The room was dark. All the bravado of the last few hours had faded as the effect of the drinks wore away. Two strangers only hours before they were going to be as intimate as two people can be. Electricity had sparked and sizzled on the dance floor, as lips met, meshed and tongues tantalised with sensual promises. But in the cold of the dimly lit room the passion seemed to ebb.
They looked at each other across the bed. Absurdity and laughter bubbled forth, as the ridiculousness of the situation became apparent to both. The deep dimples which had attracted her earlier re-appeared as he flashed that brilliant, cheeky smile reminiscent of a movie star. Her pulse quickened and body warmed, the chemistry resurging to her tingling nerve-endings. God I hope he is feeling this too, she thought to herself. As if reading her mind, his grin widened and he walked around to sweep her into his arms and break into a disco jive. Laughing, humming the beat, they swept around the room until they fell onto the bed entwined. Slowly, sensually, lips slid and slipped, nipped and tasted, teasing, tantalising... tempting.



Aww crap, I have to go to work. Will finish this in part two next week? M'ok?

Holy Life, Batman!

Today is a sorta downtime day. Sitting here in my pj's, fire roaring, eating stew. And *gasp* watching Dr Phil as he addresses issues which I have lived over the last (oh crap, almost a year...) few months. Well, it did hit the fan in the last few months anyway. Anyone who reads over my blog will get the idea, it hasn't been a constant and most of the time it didn't get to me, but it all reached a head a couple of months ago.

What was a great sign today is the fact I *giggled* throughout most of this show, especially with the second part on the stalkerish friend. I am back to where I was earlier, and find it really amusing that these sad little nobodies are still stuck in the quagmire of their nasty little lives/lies.

Lordy, my life is a Dr Phil show! Now, that's funny!

Wanker Wednesday!

Last weekend was our little hinterland scarecrow festival. We entered last year, but due to our trip, didn't this year. A lot of time, effort, talent and patience goes into these entries... I know, it took us quite a while to make ours and it was nowhere near as well done as many of the others.

Albert Scareinstein 2009

But it is a personal investment of sorts, and that is why when some dickhead comes along and mindlessly destroys I would like to do the same in return!

Our very arty, talented friends created this masterpiece:

Spongebob Scarepants

Which has now been reduced to this:

They are not the only ones. Quite a few of the entries have been reduced to ash. And it happened last year too, but not near as many exhibits were torched. Would love to get my hands on the bright spark who did this, see how they like to dance in the flames...

Hey moron - what's next? Gonna light up a few family homes, or maybe just hit a couple of shops? Hmm? It is MALICIOUS DAMAGE and ARSON you dickhead! You have destroyed someone's property and I hope they find you and your life becomes forever complete with a criminal record! See how good it feels then you dumb piece of excrement!

Wankers of the highest order!

Trivial Tuesday

Well, I DID say I was going to try and post daily!

So this is a post about not much.

Don't you hate it when the cold weather makes you pig out, even though you are not really hungry?

Or when you are so damn shivering cold that you can't get the match to light to start the fire?

You getting the picture?

And if I sit here any longer I'll freeze...

What's it like in your neck of the woods?

Memoir Monday - Toot, Toot!

Stolen from the Trav's blog: Hey y'all. This little thing is called Memoir Monday, and I'd be thrilled if you gave it a shot. Just jot down a story about yourself, grab the code down there, and I'll link you up to be read by all my wonderful blog buddies. The only rule? It has to be true. I am personally doing what I can to help cure your case of the Mondays. Thanks for playing along! Of course, you also need to comment on Trav's blog post to be linked, lol.

So, here we go... buckle down, it ain't pretty.

Once upon a time in a far off country town there lived a family of four: Grumblebum (father), Wise Woman (mother), Flame Haired One (oldest daughter) and a very young Madmother (younger daughter). They were a happy little clan, and surprisingly (for those who know the MM now) religious to some extent.

On this special day the fof were attending the local Anglican Church for their oldest daughter's confirmation. You know, the bit where you study for weeks and weeks, then go off to the church, get blessed, make a few promises and finally are allowed to sip that grog and chomp that wafer (actually, it is the other way around, but meh). And this particular confirmation of twenty or so virginal young people was even more special due to the attendance of the Bishop of the Diocese. Very, very serious stuff.

So, in the large, cold, formal Anglican church, full to the brim for this celebration of the first communion, a six year old MM sits with her Mum and Dad in a row about halfway back in the pews, and watches, enraptured, her older sister in the front row. Eleven year old FHO glances back and waves a few times. Patiently they watch, all three beaming with pride as FHO takes her vows, has her drink and nibble, and returns to her seat for a couple of hymns and the closing prayers. Being the gracious older sister, she eventually signals for eager little MM to creep down the side aisle to join her in the front pew seat of honour. MM beams, and quiet as a church mouse, tiptoes to join her. All is good,they sing the praises holding hands, listen reverently as the high up bishop honcho speaks and blesses them, and then kneel for the prayers.

It was this same year. Angelic ain't I?

It is quiet, terribly quiet. So hushed you could hear a pin drop. And the  stillness seemed to drag on and on endlessly. Solemn occasion this. And MM being well really pretty much as out there as I am now, began to wonder what would happen if someone made a little noise to break the silence.

So little MM, kneeling in the front row, sweetly calls out at the top of her six year old lungs to the huge, echoing church, (you guessed it):

TOOT TOOT!

It was quite melodical, let me tell you. Cannot properly convey the sweet sound with the written words.

I was promptly sent back to G and WW in disgrace. And she didn't talk to me for a month as she suffered under the constant jibes of "toot, toot" from friends which, of course, didn't help the situation at all.  

From that point on it became my signature call. So don't be too surprised if you hear the doorbell ring one day, and then a loud "Toot, toot." You'll know who it is...

And They Drop Like Flies

Lordy Miss Claudie, I ask about upping my followers, and woo-whooo, I lose three followers... Wow, can you at least a drop a line to let me know if I piss you off? Pleeeeze? Just cause I iz a curious soul. Okay?

I Think I Can, I Think I Can...

Okay, here's the deal. This little blue caboose is going to try and get back into blojo mode and blog every day, or at the very least, every couple of days. May be short on our busy school holiday's days, but at least something. Even perchance just a quick "Toot, toot!" Now, as Trav seems to have dropped his Memoir Monday mode (*mutter*mutter**curse*curse*) I may have to come up with some other bandwagon to hitch my tales of a tiny terror onto.

Oh, look, screw it I will try one more time to kickstart the dinosaur tomorrow, so start thinking up your Monday Memoirs and I'll put in a McLinky thingy in the post. If this post HINTING for him to step up doesn't work, and I'll go kick Trav one to see if he will at least direct people here if HE doesn't get off his increasingly smaller butt and do it (hint, hint)...

Ooh, excitement - it now seems, according to his blog, he intends to! Remember that he is a yank, and it means it will be put up at some ungodly hour late on Monday, so I will still post here tomorrow arvo, and then edit to link to the TRAV! (Maybe I should have read the small print on his blog before coming in to blurb, oops. My bad.)

Oh, and people, if you wish to find out the story behind the Toot Toot, you'll need to tune in tomorrow.

And if you like what you read please follow, or at least comment so I get a little of my much needed positive feedback (it is hard being a blogger, we do crave some accolades you know).  Oh another thing - hey you lot - ever noticed how much I link your blogs when I refer to them? Hell, ever noticed how much I refer to other blogs at all? Well - how about some reciprocating, huh?

I'm feeling a little neglected over here in the closet...

Some People Have It...

And some people don't.

So, whilst I wanna do this for the amazing Alex over at Whoa Mumma for hitting the 200 mark...

And this...

A part of me also wants to do this...

Because I am...

Now *insert whiny, irritating voice* how come she gets all the followers even after dropping from sight for a while. Waaaaaaaaaaah...

This is the bit where you rush over to her blog and post accolades.

Indulging the Child Within (a satirical look at being a...)

"If you lie down with dogs

You get up with fleas!"

My old Mum always said

When I would get teased

By people around me,

So-called friends at the school

Until they'd be influenced

By those they thought cool.

So now I am grown up

An adult it seems

Those days should be long past

Mere remnants of dreams

Well, I am disappointed

To find things just as bad

Friends turning their heads

Although mates are sad

If others attack

A friend, so you say

You cannot ignore it

It won't go away

And I must tell you

When you start to itch

If you lie down with dogs

You wake up a bitch!

Sometimes it is Hard to go Back...

We have had a lovely break, and are now on our return journey back to the mountain. We are sitting back at Tinonee, home of my heart, staying an extra night as Boy 1 is not well with a virus.

And now I come to the crux of this post. I do not want to go home. I do not want to return to the petty bitching nastiness I have faced since July last year. I do not want to have to deny lies, justify innocent comments, or explain myself and my family anymore. In all honesty, if I had a choice ( and I do not), I would move everyone back here. To this little town where my childhood friends are. To the place where people have known me for decades and KNOW ME. Where they are not swayed by utter crap, or conned by professional victims. Where liars are exposed, ridiculed and made to back off.

My children are excited to be on their way home. I am not.

*Sigh*. Back to the bullshit.

Muse Wars: Start of a New Era

Originally started by Melissa @ The Things I'd Tell You, the Muse Wars were so named in the second challenge by Madmother (moi), and continued through to around ten challenges. Then stopped, frozen in time.

I am now dubbing the new era of short story photo challenges as:

 Muse Wars: The Linky Era

Rules:

•  Anyone can join in, you just need to write a story as your interpretation of the photo in 500  - 1000 words. Can be of any genre - let your mind fly free.
• McLinky closes within 48 hours of challenge opening.
• First to link sets new photo for next challenge. Or can pass it on to next on list but MUST be passed within 24 hours of previous challenge closing.
• Next challenge must be set within seven days of completion of previous challenge.
• Post the code on your blog for all to see - and include the rules!

Challenge 1 MWTLE Inspiration Photo:

Ready, set, go for it...

 
 
 

Muse Wars? So Where The Bloody Hell Are Ya?

Have some time, definitely have the motivation, anyone else up for it?

Hmmmm?

Whaddya reckon?

Come ON!

P.S. Search for Muse Wars here on my blog and you'll get the idea, just in case you have no idea what I am talking about, lol.